Heartless
by AdFinemAdInfinitum
Summary: I am what you might possibly call, heartless.After the night falls I can do anything!Sneak out, party...And Malfoy? Well, he's just the poor noble son of a traitor.Pathetic! Air on the other hand... He's what I call fun. SM/RW- R
1. Chapter 1

A/N: Ok, I know I seriously need to go and kill myself for that.

Cause this is the third unfinished story that I start.

But what can I do? I have so many ideas…

Now this story is crazier than the others

It is strange and the Rose you are about to meet in nothing like the ones you knew

Mature themes implied only

Enjoy!

**Heartless**

**Chapter 1 : ****A Heartless**

I am what you might possibly call a Heartless.

You know this creatures that roam around the wizarding world alone , enjoying other people's pain. That's me.

And if you think you know what heartless means just because you have cheated on your girl-boyfriends once or twice or because you send no money to the poor this year then you are terribly mistaken and I'm probably equally mistaken for wasting my time talking to you.

Cause those lame examples of heartlessness are not even close to what I call heartless. And if you wonder how do I know I am heartless I will tell you immediately.

I have no idea for how long I've been that way but the first time I really realized and of course accepted it was when I heard my former-friend Ethie crying her eyes off in the bed next to me and decided I was not planning on consoling her any time soon.

Since then I took drastic action about the fact. I was no longer going to put up with the niceness of people who had dedicated their lives in being stupidly and conveniently good-natured.

I ditched my friends and family and I turned my attention elsewhere. There must be some heartless people in Hogwarts, or some that are easily converted, I had thought. And I was of course correct. There were lots.

Some of them eager like myself to face their nature, others not equally so.

All in all I became friends, or actually not friends. 'Friend' is a word used for those you care about, those that you like hanging out with. The people I spent my time with are not my friends. They are my partners. People I share the same ideas with and people conveniently close to my way of living.

And seeing as I've already begun talking about partners and ways of life I believe it is about time to make introductions.

My name is Rose Weasley and I am a heartless. I normally spend my mornings studying like a good girl that I am and acting like I care for school and stuff. But my nights I spend completely different.

My partners are Riel and Rett McLggen (which stands for Gabriel and Garrett) and who are lucky enough to be finishing with their so-called education this year. They are also lucky enough to be Slytherins and live in the dungeons where heartlessness goes almost unnoticed.

From time to time I speak to Mad too (Maddox Crabb) who is Slytherin too and kinda heartless too. Just not reaching our standards.

So my nights are like the alter-ego of my days. If while the sun shines I am logic and contained sometimes even close to good, when the moon goes out I am free.

I get to sneak out to Hogsmeade and get wasted with the Riel and Rett and I get to 'uphold' objects from the shops in the village and prank people's heads off.

Not literally of course. I mean, agreed, I am heartless, meaning I would never care if someone was in trouble, but committing murder is way too foolish for me. I would probably end up in Azkaban any way and that would be just a waste of my life and talent. So no. Not willing to do prison thank you very much.

And then we have boys. Now them I am very willing to do. Once upon a time I was a giggly timid little girl that spoke only when spoken to and expected the prince.

Not anymore.

Now I flirt with anyone I want, I snog anyone I want and I most certainly sleep with anyone I want. And if prince charming thinks he can handle me then let him come.

"So Wes are you up for an orgy in 'Flash' tonight?" This is Rett.

"Is there gonna be enough rum and firewhiskie?" I ask him and Coach Hooch glares our way. I would just tell her to go and –… but my parents are not really aware I possess this kind of vocabulary and my life would become increasingly miserable if they found out.

"Is that all you ask for?" The Slytherin whispered from next to me.

"And boys to shag." I add thoughtfully.

"_I_'m always here, Wes." Rett again.

"Yes, but only when I'm desperate." I point out. And I am never desperate.

"I see. So I'll pick you up from the Fat Lady at twelve." He continues and smirks. He knows how it pisses me when he just reminds me he is a Slytherin and I am a bloody Gryffindor.

"I would say 'fuck you' but you do so anyway." I shove him in the arm and go to play some Quidditch with my team. Which I hate. But it is a good cover for my late-night activities so…

"Hey cousin, what's up? Haven't talked to you for some time." Luckily. Cause this is my cousin James. Totally mental, a prankster alright but playing it nice and all. Sucks.

"She was out again yesterday." Lily. My other cousin. Now _her_ I hate. She is a nosey little know-it-all who messes up with my life and one day she's gonna pay for it.

"Leave me alone." I mutter darkly.

"Where have you been?" Asks James again. Like the awful person that he is.

"In the kitchens drinking pumpkin juice." I say sarcastically and he snorts. But who gives a shit?

"She was not even close to the kitchens yesterday. Were you…Wes?" A voice from over my head speaks . Malfoy. I narrow my eyes immediately.

Remember when I said I was no killer? Well, for his eyes I would certainly become one.

He is the son of Draco Malfoy, once-follower of the biggest Heartless of them all, Voldy. And it is true, Voldy was a rotten man, but some parts of his heartless existence, the non-mental , non-killing parts, were interesting.

Yet _this _bastard is determined to sabotage every one of my moves. He's sorta good in a smug kind of way and he thinks he owns the place. Plus he is lucky enough to be a Slytherin and _still _he plays justly. He's the poor, noble son of a traitor. Pathetic.

Trying hard to deny his evil nature and be good.

Second in my class , after me, prefect, Captain of the Slytherins and a real Casanova . And you know the worst part? Always going by the book. No cheating , no lying , no cries for help. He snogs girls and then leaves them begging for more. And you know what? They never hate him.

So, as I said, pathetic.

"Shut your bloody mouth Malfoy." I shout up in the skies where he is located at the moment. If only I could push him off his broom…

I kick the grass and find myself over a hoop in no time. I make some turns in the air, some dives and some climbs and soon I am ready for the game. I love the game.

Mainly because like the Beater that I am I get to kick everybody's arse and get away with it. The only deal is my fellow Beater who is the same Lily that I absolutely despise.

Needless to say that I have attacked her with a bludger more than once. Her and almost everyone in my team. How I hate Gryffindors!

oOo

Half-past twelve. Trust a McLaggen to come on time. Days like this I'm considering changing partners. Those are too stupid. But as I said , no matter how many heartless people there are in here there are only a few who accept themselves as they are.

"Sorry , Wes. We almost got caught by Filch." Does it look like I care?

"Save it Riel. Let's go." They nod and we head to the kitchens. Did you know that kitchens are the only place in Hogwarts that one is able to Apparate in and out?

We found out last year. Awesome isn't it?

Anyway all three of us Apparate right inside 'Flash'. There the music is way too loud. Like I enjoy it. Smoke is all over the place and people are dancing like crazy. People mostly older than ourselves. But who cares as I have said before.

"A round of firewhiskies." I scream at the ugly barman who recognizes me and seems just a little alarmed. Ok, so I have caused mess in the place the last time I came in.

Actually I was making out with a new lad I met just that night and I was drunk enough to miss the fact that an old friend of mines, Dev was watching.

Now , about Dev I am not proud. Cause as I said before, heartless in one thing and reckless in another.

So it was last year when I met Devon Cart in this precise spot. He was then just out of Durmstrang and very impatient to celebrate it. And I was out of my pretending to be nice cocoon and equally impatient. So we talked a bit and drank like nuts and danced. After that all I can remember was that I woke up at his place the next morning just too glad it was Saturday and noone was going to notice my absence.

We met with him some more times, getting drunk and shagging till I got bored of it. So I ditched him royally and went on to the next guy. Only he didn't take it too well.

He called me names, which by the way I totally deserved and slapped me.

I didn't protest. As I said, I deserved it and it's not like he hit me or something.

The next time I saw him was here while I was snogging a guy's face off. The guy's name I cannot even recall. So Dev came over and made a real fuss about it. He slapped me again and bit the poor guy to death. But this time I didn't deserve it. So I Sectumsempra-ed him and had him flying over some tables.

As a result I am not wanted in here. But I think I'll live.

"Cheers." I raise my glass and drink its content at once. It makes my insides hotter and a smile comes up my face.

"I'm off." I shout at my two partners whilst drinking my second and third shot.

I spot a group of guys on my left and move fast towards them.

"Not so fast." I feel someone tall and strong catching my waist and pulling me back. Now there are two possibilities. A) He's a rapist and plans on taking advantage of me. In which case he'll soon be dead cause my wand is in my right pocket.

B) He's an I-want-it-I-take-it kinda guy . In which case the dance floor is over there and let's hope his place is somewhere nearby.

"Let me go or I'll loose the object of tonight's fun." I whisper to him playfully and he turns over so that I can see him.

Disappointment. He's wearing a mask. But then again so am I. What? Don't tell me you thought I was partying away my parents' money and I would let them know? Ridiculous.

"If I let you go then I'll loose the object of _my _fun." He is good that guy. I already like him. Seems heartless enough. He won't cause me any problems with love too.

"And we don't want such a thing do we?" I ask suggestively.

"Surely not." He replies and a smirk escapes his mouth. Truth be told I never liked smirks. They are the signature of Malfoy and they always remind me of him so …Kinda ruins it for me.

"You know what? I know you for less that a minute and I already found what I hate about you." I grin. This is gonna be a joy!

"I guess it is a record for you then? Less than a minute." Nice comeback. I have to give him that. He's got wits.

"Really is."

"And what may that be? The thing you hate about me I mean." I try to hold back a laugh. He fell to the trap.

"Your smirk. Brings up bad memories." He seems amazed. Why so?

"Usually my smirk gets great comments." He says.

"Sorry." I mouth and grab his hand.

"You'll just have to make up for it with a dance." He nods. Like he has a choice.

I tie my hands around his neck and come as close to him as possible. He seems just a bit taken aback by my eagerness for a moment but plays along. He looks like a good dancer. I move slowly going with the music and sometime later I hear his voice penetrating my thoughts and dizziness.

"So am I making up for it?" He breathes into my neck.

"I think so." I call back at him.

"So how old are you?" He asks suddenly and I narrow my eyes at him.

"Old enough." I shoot back.

"Which means you're still a teen." He mouths matter-of-factly. Great. Now he's gonna say something stupid like …

"If only your parents knew." Exactly!

"Bu they don't." I point out acidly.

"Luckily for me." He adds. Nice.

"And how old _you_ might be." I ask.

"As old as you want me to be." I suppress a laugh.

"You're not much older yourself then." The jerk. Wanted to scare me.

"Obviously." He admits.

"Aren't you afraid I might leave you and search for someone more mature?" He thinks he is cool? Well, think again.

"Not really." Hmm.

"How so?" I wonder…

"Choose maturity over talent? You look smarter than that." Interesting, very interesting.

"I might be." He really knows what he talks about. As soon as he gets relaxed on the floor he turns me around so that my hair is on his face and presses his hands on my waist.

"You are a good dancer." The masked guy whispers in my ear.

"I know." I shrug.

"So what is it that you hate so much about my smirk?" Should I tell him?

"There's this guy, Malfoy, who smirks just like you. I _hate_ that guy." I don't think I let go much about my identity did I?

He seems uneasy again. Oh, Merlin, what is his deal?

"How so?" He risks a question.

"Do you really want me to talk about another guy now?" I give him half an eye.

"I guess not." Oh, this is crap. We have been talking for half an hour now. I need action.

I release myself from his grip and look up at his masked face. He must be cute. He is really fit and tall. Now his face and hair I cannot see. His mask extends backwards to cover his hair which must be rather short since I can see no sign of it.

I stop dancing and scan him with my gaze. He's probably a catch. Had I been any other girl I would be thinking seriously about him. Handsome, witty, courageous enough. But I am _no_ other girl. I am Rose and I will certainly ban thoughts like that from my heartless side.

"You know you seem like you need something." I put a finger in my chin pretending to think.

"I do?" I can't tell if he is playing or if he is honestly shocked.

"Yes. You look too smug. Too sure of yourself." Still thoughtful.

"Oh! I know." I say and before he can react I press my lips on his. He does not respond at first. Then he brushes my lips with his tongue. He seems too hesitant though. Like he is doing something wrong. But I won't let that affect me.

I deepen the kiss and he holds me tighter. Like he's afraid I'm a lie. A dream.

Ok, I am imagining things. That is for sure. Guys in this bar do _not_ have second thoughts. Men in this place do _not_ dream. That's why I like it so much in here. No expectations.

I break the kiss just the moment I know it is getting better. Always leave them wanting more.

I give him a strange look. He is notably surprised. No smugness left. Hurray!

"Better." I comment. He doesn't smile. Now, I know for a thing that I kiss nicely. Why is he troubled?

"Do you always attack guys like that?" He asks after a small pause. What does he want now? To make me question myself? Not happening.

"Absolutely. And they _usually_ like it." I say suggestively.

"Well, _I_ don't." Ok, so… fine. I'm off. I don't spare him a second look. I swift in the spot and leave. I'm not wasting my time with this sis.

"So guys!" I exclaim as I reach my first targets of the night, the group of boys. They seem significantly gladder to see me. Get _that_ masked guy!

"Want to dance cutie?" A black-haired dude at about twenty suggests.

"If you promise not to call me cutie ever again." I say and raise a hand to his hair and tangle it in them. He responds to my touch and approaches. Closer and closer.

"You know what? I promise to call you anyway you want as long as we skip the dancing part." He whispers.

"It's a deal." I agree and before my sentence is over he is kissing me. Tongue and all. A different kiss than the previous. More passionate and yet less interesting. True the masked man was more interesting but a damn jerk too.

I respond to the black haired guy and soon we end up in a corner snogging. He's touching me all over and I shiver. He's not that bad. But when I open my eyes for a split second I recognize the masked man staring at us from the bar. I pay him no attention.

Let him watch.

Let him see what he lost.

Let him regret.

A/N: So Rose is a bitch… True

But things are gonna get better …

I promise!

So review people!!

I am such an addict.

I cannot live without reviews

So do not hesitate

Love ya all

Sarah


	2. Chapter 2

A/N: Thank you all so for the reviews!

I appreciate it .

So this is a gift for ya.

Super fast update

I own nothing of it

However that will never stop me from writing and it should stop you from…

Enjoy(ing) !

**Chapter 2: Happiness is the result**

My head weights like ten times its size. My eyes are still shut and it doesn't look like I will open them sometime soon. And I won't even speak of my stomach. It reacts only by hearing its name.

Worst thing about being heartless? Hangovers.

I'm serious.

I trudge my feet to the bathroom and empty the content of my stomach in the toilet. Better. Much better. I take a shower and as I do so I take a look at the mirror.

"Do I look too wasted?" I ask.

"Not really miss. What happened? Usually we don't have the pleasure of meeting you so early in morning." Ok, hate to break it to you but my mirror is a prat.

"I would answer to you but now that I think of it you're only a piece of glass." Have you heard how mirrors think so highly of themselves? Like they play an important role in our lives and all? Well, if this mirror keeps bugging me I will give him a depression to remember.

"Now , miss Weasley you shouldn't be mean to me just because you didn't find yourself a boyfriend last night." I glare at the furniture for a while and then make a dismissive move with my hand.

"I won't even bother. You are a furniture remember?" I slam the door behind me.

I am late for class _and_ I got noone last night.

I mean I got noone to sleep with. And it is all the masked man's fault. If he didn't stare at me all night things would have been much better. I do hope I never see him again. I hope he never shows in 'Flash' for the second time.

"Miss Weasley. Late again." Crap.

"I'm sorry Professor Atkins." I say faking a sweet voice.

I sit in my seat next to Mad Crabb. In case you haven't noticed I have Transfiguration with Slytherin.

"Well, done Mister Malfoy, your rat already turned into a vase." As I was saying… Transfiguration with the Slytherins.

"Can anybody tell me the kind of flick that is required for such a transformation?" Asks the old man and I raise my hand quickly. Unfortunately Malfoy mimics my move and now there are two hands up in the air. Always the same situation. My brains against his.

So naturally, I win.

"Miss Weasley?" Bingo!

"Up a centimeter, then left for a bit more and finally back up." I turn slowly with a victory smile on my face to see Malfoy's disappointed one. But he fails me. He avoids my gaze and concentrates on his quill. Coward.

"Hey, Wes, heard you got a royal hangover from yesterday but no guy. Is that true?" The bastards. They told him.

"Unlike you Mad, that got laid by your imaginary friend the other day." Hah! Like he can compare to me.

"I could have better luck if you took me with you." I stare at him questioningly.

"You'll have to earn that." I whisper.

"Something in mind?" He asks playfully.

"Come and meet me after class in the old Potions room." I wink as I say it.

He nods. The jerk. I'm so gonna play with him.

oOo

Old Potions' room. After class.

"So would you like to tell me Wes what you've got in mind?" Sure I will.

"Well, you'll have to prove yourself worthy of my trust." I make a circle around the guy as I say this.

"Meaning?" Hohoho. Wait and see.

"You know it is possible that we're gonna get caught someday or get in trouble in a club or something equally dangerous?" He nods. Good.

"Well, I have to be sure you won't do something stupid in such a case." I look at him with a detective's eye.

I raise my wand and shout .

"Sectumsempra" He looks at me dumbfounded but as soon as he realizes I am testing him he remains frozen to the spot and trembling a tad. Oh, how cute! A little brave boy. Uncle Harry would have been thrilled.

"Sorry. I can't take you." I tell Mad after some moments.

"What? Why? I didn't jerk out." I smile a devilish smile. He is so terribly stupid.

"Exactly!" I exclaim amused.

"I'm not testing you for Dumbledore's Army man I'm testing you for midnight excursions in Hogsmeade. You're supposed to _run_!" I raise a hand exasperated at his foolishness.

But I drop it immediately. The door lock turns and before I know it there are three of us in the room.

And guess who the third uninvited member is. Use your imagination. Think the worst think that could have happened.

Ok, I admit it the worst would have been McGonagall but yeah…the second worst.

Malfoy!

"What's going on in here?" Prat , prat , prat. He rests his bloody grey eyes on me. Prat, prat, prat.

"I caught Crabb here snogging Melissa Carlton." I reply quickly. Hah…lame . Like Mad could ever snog _her._ But anyway.

"And I guess this hole in the wall is caused by them snogging?" Oh, why don't you just get _lost_ Malfoy?

"No idea. I've heard though that he is quite a kisser." I say sarcastically.

"And where is Melissa?" Malfoy asks.

"I send her away cause I wanted to talk to Crabb." I explain. If he thinks he will beat me in this lie game then he is _so_ mistaken.

"So that's why I saw her in the Great Hall ten minutes ago." Smart arse.

"Yes." I say daringly.

"Ok, then _talk _to him." I raise an eyebrow to this. Why can't he just accept he is defeated?

"Actually I said what I had to." I make my way out of the room but before I close the door and leave the two idiots behind me forever I hear Malfoy whispering to Mad.

"Are you ok?" Grr, he is such a saint. I hate him.

He who had the _best_ potential of becoming a heartless has chosen to be nice and obedient. Sheep.

He could have become my partner. He is clever enough, witty and really devious if he wishes to. But he chose Al.

Al, as in my cousin Albus Potter. Another Slytherin and Malfoy's best mate.

Making the world a better place they are.

Enough with those two unimportant brats though. I have more important things to do now.

"Hey, Riel! Friday , 'Flash'?" I heard yesterday that there will be a graduation party there in the end of the week. College guys , firewhiskie and stuff. All in all something I cannot miss.

"Can't do Wes." What? Crap…

"Damn it Riel, why?" He looks at me apologetically. Do I look like I care he is sorry?

"I've got a date with Lottie Zabini." So what? Rearrange. It's not like she's going somewhere.

"The slut?" Riel graces me with an indignant glance.

"Look who's talking!" He does have a point there somewhere.

"I am and proud of it. So will you ditch her and come with Rett and myself?" He shakes his head. Idiot!

"Whatever." I am going anyway.

oOo

Half-past twelve. Friday night. 'Flash'. Without Riel.

Tonight is gonna be _my_ night. I can already imagine kissing that blonde over there. I wink at him and he smiles. He's not particularly tall just a few inches taller than myself but after ten firewhiskies it won't be a problem.

Rett is already in his fifth shot and he is dancing on his own. Ridiculous.

Most important rule about getting wasted?

Never do it alone.

"A round of firewhiskies." I tell the barman. Seems to me like a déjà vu.

I take the drinks and head to the blonde.

"Care to spare a drink on me?" A somewhat familiar voice says.

Oh, no! The masked man.

"Erm… no!" I exclaim and then try to ignore his tall figure and pass him by.

"Girls _usually_ like it." He points out . Is it me or did he just quote my line from last time? Hmm…

"Well, _I_ don't." I think that had been his reply.

"Fair enough." He smirks. I send him a disapproving look . Haven't I mentioned how I hate smirks?

He seems to get the message cause the smirk falls from his face quickly.

Ok, fine I guess for both our sakes I could have a truce.

"Here" I say and hand him a drink , which he empties in his throat in zero time.

"So who's tonight's target?" He asks suggestively.

"This blonde over there." I reply easily. He has proved from last time that he is not interested so why lie?

"You're into blondes?" And what may be the purpose of this question?

"Not really, but he seems adequate." I search his masked face for a sign. Nothing.

"So am I, you know." I hear him whisper a minute later. Now that was a bad idea.

In a place like this whispers are a bad idea. Especially when you sit next to the stereo.

"What?" I scream his way. Of course I know what he said but he deserves to be humiliated a bit for what he did last time.

"No-nothing." He answers. Coward.

"Ok, then I should be going." Or, not.

Before I take one step away from him he grabs my hand and pushes my back.

"Let go of me you jerk." I hiss.

"Why don't we sit over there for a while?" I widen my eyes as much as I can, as he drags me to the bar and sits me in a seat. The guy's mental.

"You are mental." I say angrily.

"Probably." The masked man admits and my interest rises.

"So what's your name?" I ask abruptly. Let's just make the best out of it then.

"Why do you bother asking? You know I'll lie to you anyway." I cross my arms and stare challengingly.

"I do know , but since you plan on ruining my night I'll have to call you somehow." He seems to enjoy listening to my answer as much as I enjoy saying it.

"Deal, then call me…" He searches the place with his eyes.

After some moments his gaze falls on an old stained painting that was created by someone called –if my vision is still working- Airell Ursh.

"Call me Air." He finally says.

"And you can be…" Hey! Why does _he_ get to choose _my_ name? I will protest…

"Myra." Ok, I won't protest. It is a nice name and if I am not mistaken it is taken from muggle literature. Interesting.

"Myra? Like the girl from Fulke Greville's poem?" He laughs. I think it is the first time he attempts something other than a smirk.

"The same one." I stare for a second. Reading muggle poems are we?

"A wizard who likes muggles. You are a peculiar sight." Laughs again.

"You don't look like a muggle hater yourself." Well, isn't it normal seeing as I am a half-blood?

"Now there you are wrong. I make no distinctions. I hate everyone the same." I drink another shot as I say this.

"So why do you wear a mask?" He has a thing for stupid questions hasn't he?

"Because it makes my hair look nicer." I say sarcastically.

"Then it really works." Is he kidding me? It was a joke. Ok? A joke!

"And why do you wear yours?" I can't help it but ask. Weirdest thing about stupid questions?

They are somehow contagious.

Once someone asks one everybody think they are obliged to prove that they too are capable of such high levels of stupidity. I never thought I would end up in such a situation. Being tipsy doesn't help either.

"My reason is rather boring I think. It's just that I don't want to be recognized you see." I place my hands on my hips. Very clever.

"Have you escaped Azkaban or something?" Long shot there.

"Nah… I am hiding alright, but I escaped from nowhere. You see I was skipping school and sneaking out at night doing all sorts of crazy stuff. So my family and friends found out and now I am on the run." I stand up immediately. Danger is on the air.

_Air?_ Funny.

"Wait, wait. I was just joking." I give him a killing look.

"Are you playing with me? Describing my life and all?" He grabs my arm. He's making a habit of it too.

I try to free myself but it is impossible.

"If you think I am one of those little girls that do whatever they are told then think again, Air. I can hex your brains out if I want to and I certainly will. So let go of my hand. Now." I can be scary if I wan to. Trust me. I might be slightly short and small but there's nothing weak about by hexing skills.

"I was _just_ guessing. Don't get mad." He tries to sooth me. I hesitate a bit but then again. What the fuck? I can handle him.

"Fine then mastermind, you got me. I am the forever condemned daughter who escapes reality to live a few wild moments. Happy now?" I feel sarcasm dripping from my teeth, my face , my whole person actually. He gives me another shot.

"I am happy, yes. You on the other hand…" Excuse me? Is he playing it physiologist or something?

"I am great. That's the life I want to have." I point the floor with my finger.

"This is no life." He whispers.

"It is fun." I suggest.

"There are more important things in life than happiness." Now that's a funny thought. I used to believe that happiness was our target.

"I beg to differ. Isn't happiness what we fight for?" I declare more than ask.

"For the most of us, yes. But I disagree." Strange.

"How?" I ask.

"Happiness should be the _result_ of our actions not their _motive_." Merlin. It's like I am talking to a philosopher. Crap, I don't need this now.

"Ok, Plato." I try to contain my laughter.

"Laugh all you want Myra. But I am correct." I stand up again still chuckling my eyes off.

"I think not. And just so that I can prove it to you… I will ask you to dance with me. And the only reason _I_ do it is cause it makes _me _happy." He does not protest. In fact he seems more willing to dance than the last time.

"Now the only reason _I _agree to dance with you is cause I want to be _nice_. I don't do it for happiness." He points out.

"Oh, please don't be nice. I hate nice people." He ignores my comment. He only catches me from behind and moves my body together with his.

Soon I am resting my head on his chest and I feel absolutely relaxed. The firwhiskie burning my insides and his hands holding my waist. I will never admit it to him but it feels even better than kissing the blonde.

"See? I was just being nice when I came to dance with you and you know what? Now I am happy. Happiness is the _result_." He tickles my ear with his breath.

I want to shove him away from me. Punch him in the face for being such a smart-arse.

But I do neither.

Happiness is the result huh?

That I cannot accept.

Being the self-respective heartless that I am.

And with that thought in mind I keep dancing across him.

A/N: Soooo…. Review!!

I so love ya all for reading so keep doing what you are doing

Fast updates or what?

Anyway,

Lots of all

Sarah


	3. Chapter 3

A/N: It took long to post up I know but I am back to school now and I have NO free time.

Sorry anyway

So another chapter up and I promise faster updates

Enjoy!

Chapter 3: Nothing 

I haven't had a proper snog in like… a month. And, normally I would be on drugs or killing myself by now. Well to that, all I can say is, guess again!

I am not. I am rather satisfied. You think it's mental huh? Yeah, I second that. I _so _second that. It has been two years you see since I stayed single for so long. And by single I mean without sleeping with someone. Not as in a relationship and all. Ha!

So you must be wondering, why, oh , why Sweet Merlin is she single?

Well, people, blame it all on Air.

Ok, ok , I know I ought to explain more than that. A lot more than that.

You see it has been at about a month since I first saw him. He was wasting his time in 'Flash' girlfriend-less when he grabbed my arm and danced with me. He , soon made it clear he was not interested in snogging or more. He simply wanted someone to get wasted with.

Now, I know I should have never volunteered. I mean it is more than obvious that we want different things. However after making me sit with him for about five times I decided he is actually quite enjoyable.

And that guy will probably be the end of me. I swear, I make up my mind about telling him we are not friends and I have better things to do with my time, every single night. And he shakes them off every night.

I have tried everything. Insulting him, hitting him, even hexing him. Nothing! He is determined. No matter what I do he turns to the barman asks for another round and offers me a drink with his hateful smirk.

My nerved let me tell you are on the edge of breaking.

He even manages to make me go to bed early!

At about two, he says something like 'I feel rather tired, don't you, Myra?' Of course I reply coldly that, no, I do not. But he never seems to listen. He grabs my arm, like he does every time I don't do what he wants (Which is often in fact…) and drags me out of the bar. He practically throws me on the street and orders me to go home.

When I deny doing so and try to re-enter the bar he threatens to call the guard and tell him I am under-aged. So defeated I return to school.

Exactly as I did yesterday night. Damn him.

"Good morning Miss Weasley." My bloody mirror intervening with my thoughts once again.

"Shut up." I snarl sleepily his way. If he is offended he sure doesn't show it. Just like Air. Grr.

"You look rather, fresh, today." The mirror observes and I wonder if I would in fact mind ten years of bad luck after all. Hmm, no. No I would not.

"Do you happen to know where Filch hides his magical hammer?" I turn to look at the glass sarcastically.

"And do you know the number of trophies in the Trophy room?" He replies likewise.

I narrow my eyes at him. Is he threatening me too? Has every magical creature and object turned into an Air for me?

"How do I look?" I say demanding. At least when it comes to work that thing is a professional.

"I already told you. You look fresh. Hardly any bags under your eyes and your hair is peculiarly tamed. If only you could take that slutty lip gloss off your mouth I could bet you look almost nice." I will break this mirror into a million pieces if he doesn't quit this now! I swear.

I make my way out of the bathroom already furious. Is there a war going on now? My heartlessness against the world?

Ok, not the world but against my mirror and Air certainly. I grab my Potions books and flee out of the Gryffindor Common Room.

oOo

"Today we are going to produce a new potion. So do try to stay quiet and listen." Slughorn looks snappy today. Woken up in the wrong side of the bed I suppose. Just like myself.

Now every time I see his old, hunched, figure I cannot help but wonder, how old is this man? How can he still walk. I mean I remember uncle-Harry saying he used to teach his dad and before him, even Voldy himself. Meaning, he is ancient.

Maybe even a friend with Merlin too.

If I were his age I bet I couldn't even get up from bed , let alone teach, or host those stupid parties, he hosts every second week.

"The potion is called Amortentia. Does anyone know what the effects of Amortentia are?" The old Potions' teacher scrutinizes the room with his gaze. Like he can see my hand. The old bat.

"Miss Weasley?" I smirk to myself. I am one of his favorites anyway. I turn confidently to the old man and clearing my voice I say.

"Amortentia causes the drinker to develop a powerful obsession and infatuation with whomever gave them the potion. It is usually either forced upon someone or covertly given. Its effects grow stronger the longer it awaits consumption." Slughorn grins my way. I know I am awesome.

"Sir!" I hear an annoyingly smug voice from a few desks back.

Malfoy!

What doe she want now? Can't he see some of us are trying to work in here? I mean, Merlin, can't he shut up?

"Yes, Mr Malfoy?" Oh, just look at the man! Is he really _that_ interested to hear this blonde's wisecracks ?

"I would like to add that Amortentia is also the most powerful love potion of all. It smells unique to each person, as it smells like whatever attracts each individual." Prat. Know-it-all, conceited, arrogant, idiotic prat!

"Very nice addition Mr Malfoy. Ten points to each House." What?! He asked the effects of it not general knowledge! I recited the whole paragraph about the potion and he just read the title ,'Amortentia the most powerful love potion'. I mean you don't even need to read the text to know this.

All men are idiots. From the youngest ones to the oldest. 'Ten points each!'

"Ok, all of you pair up with the person next to you." I slowly turn my head towards the seat on my right. Nelia Goyle. Just my luck.

Slughorn could not have paired me up with a more stupid person if he tried to. And she's ugly too. Disgusting and all. Her hair is by far worst than my bush, her eyes have this brown color that brings to mind only one thing, and I do not mean wood or soil. Plus she's got this huge nose which she tends to wipe on her sleeves.

Merlin's pants. I think I'm gonna throw up. That way my robes will smell just like hers.

"Oh, I'm so glad we're paired up together Rosie." Ok, this is going to be ugly.

"Cut out the nicknames Goyle and I'll be glad myself." I mutter disgustedly.

"Oh, I'm sorry, yes , ok, erm, Rose." Better, still on first name basis, but better.

"Could you go and bring the ingredients?" This is going to be a long hour.

"I- erm, sure, what do we need? Let's see, Bellanova weeds, owl feathers,…" Ok, I knew she was stupid but, incapable of reading too? It says Belladona, Bel-la-do-na weeds. Merlin!

"Never mind I'll go get them." I stand up before she moves an eyelash and head to the storage room, or rather cupboard which looks surprisingly crowded. Mostly girls whispering and giggling.

"I cannot believe we're making Amortentia. At last a nice lesson." Said a blonde Slytherin.

"And useful too. Maybe I can steal a little bottle, you know in case of an emergency." In other words no guy would look at her if he was in his right mind. And I would surely agree with him.

"Good idea! I mean I'm just dying to see what mine will smell like." Well, I am plainly dying. A slow death.

"Hey, who do you think Al will be smelling in his? And Scorpius? Oh, I am so curious." Me on the other hand… I mean it is dangerously obvious who they will be smelling.

Al will be smelling grandma's cakes and Amelia's cologne. And Malfoy, well he will probably be smelling his own cologne. As simple as that.

"Well, girls if you are so interested in finding out what we will be smelling then why don't you come over to our desk to exchange opinions sometime later?" Hmm, canny voice, dripping with supposed charm and smugness, fake laugh. Let me guess. Malfoy?

I swift my body on the spot only to confirm my suspicions. Malfoy.

"Watch your steps Malfoy." I snap at him irritated as I pick some Belladonas. He only smirks my way and marches towards the owl feathers' shelf.

"I see you got paired up with Goyle, Weasley." I move towards him mischievously. And then…I grab the last owl feather. Ha!

The element of surprise never fails me. He was so perplexed as soon as I approached he didn't even notice me taking his feather.

"Indeed and you always glued with my dear cousin aren't you?" I motion to the classroom , clearly uninterested. _Clearly _uninterested.

And did I mention I am _clearly_-….

"Just don't act like a bitch to her ok? She's a fine girl." Excuse me? Why, and I repeat why is the Bloody Malfoy advising me? When exactly did I give him permission to meddle?

Never.

See? My point exactly.

"None of your fucking business Malfoy." I growl his way and rush back to my desk. What is wrong with him? Do I seem like I want his opinion? Do I look like I care?

My life is perfectly ok, thank you very much. And I will be as mean as I please to anyone I want. Especially annoying air-heads like Goyle.

Speaking of whom. She is now trying to read the instructions of the book. And failing as expected.

"Chop these will you?" I hiss, cursing inwards Merlin for my bad luck. She obeys. Luckily.

An hour, ten bat wings and like a million stupid comments from Goyle, later I find myself stirring furiously the potion that by its looks seems ready.

"It looks perfect. Oh, have I mentioned how happy I am to be working with you Rose? I mean I would certainly fail Potions had it not been for you today." Do not Silencio her, Do not Silencio her, Do not Silencio her.

"Yes, you have mentioned it Goyle. Like a thousand times." I tie my fingers around the side of the cauldron. I must contain myself.

"Oh, right. Well, do you smell something?" Yes! I smell death on the atmosphere. Soon approaching actually.

"No." I growl again searching the class for a sharp knife or something. As I do so I catch my cousin Al's gaze on me. I glare his way and he turns to whisper something to the blonde bastard on his left.

Saints. I hate them. I know that for a long time they've been trying to contain my heartlessness and one day I will just go back there and shut their arrogant, fake-nice mouths. And that's a threat.

"I think I do." So what? I think almost every walking creature can smell.

"I don't care. Keep your thoughts to yourself Goyle." And that is putting it nicely. Cause honestly, what thoughts? The girl's retarded.

"But it is so exciting I can't stop myself from gaping in awe!" I can't stop myself from yawning in boredom, but what can we do? Life is life.

"I think I smell, trees, or a forest and my cat Shirley and oh! And your cousin Al's perfume." I see her adopting a redder facial color as she finishes. And they call me a Weasley! But hey! She's into Al? Merlin! That's sick. I feel pity for him and I bloody hate the guy. Besides Nelia with Al would be like mixing up different species. Ape-human interaction or something.

"And you? What do you smell Rose?" Nothing! I bloody smell nothing, will you shut it now?

Oh, wait. I _do_ smell something peculiar. Bugger! Can't a person escape this love-potion mania?

Wow! That's a familiar smell. Hmm… Fresh-printed books. Yeah, I guess that's sorta correct. And … cream. That I cannot understand. Cream? I mean I remember dad feeding me when I was little grandma Weasley's vanilla cream, but …Nah…that could never be it. Ok, now there another smell. Good gracious! How many are there? That is surely unfamiliar. It smells like soap and cologne and something else. But my soap is lavender, so no. This smell probably belongs to a guy.

Oi! Crap. Is that thing implying that there's someone I fancy out there. Mercy!

"I smell nothing." I mutter finally, still a little shaken by this potions conspiracy.

"Now, come on, you must be smelling something…" Crap. I would seriously kill her now.

"Nope." I stress it as much as possible. She has got to get the hint.

"Nonsense. Tell me." Well, speaking of nonsense, do you ever listen to yourself talking? You know what? Now that I think of it, I kept my thought to myself enough time.

"Nonsense? _I_ am speaking nonsense? Have you ever listened to yourself?" I snap at last. I feel two pairs of eyes pinched on my back but I pay them no attention. Those two saints can just go…-.

"Now Rosie, I know you don't mean this." Rosie? She seems to realize her mistake cause she raises a hand to her mouth. _Rosie? _I pull my wand from my pocket and turn it her way.

"I'm sorry Rose. I just don't see why you don't want to tell me what you smelled." She has got to be kidding me!

"I told you like a million times. Shut up! I don't care how glad you are for sitting with me but I am getting my nerves broken by sitting with you so just zip it." She stares at me dumbfounded. Cool.

"I'm sorry but…" Damn her!

"Shut your bloody mouth. It\s not like you're ever saying something right anyway. I mean the world would be a better place with a speechless you." I almost shriek. Ok, I don't shriek. But if –hypothetically speaking- I did, that would be the should I would make.

"I'll just…" That's it. That is all I can take for one day.

"Sectumsempra!" I shout. Bloody Hell! What did I just do?

I watch as the spell hits Goyle in the shoulder and quickly spreads all over her body. Red lines appearing all over the girl's visible skin. She crawls a few drunken steps and falls on the floor with an empty 'thub'.

Some observant students follow my gaze speechless. Goyle seizures , there on the floor in front of me for a second or two, before passing out.

What have I done?

What have I done?

What have I done?

Oh, Merlin!

I must help her, take her to the hospital wing, cast her a healing charm.

Wait. What are you thinking now? You are heartless remember? A little voice whispers in my head making me stand rooted in the spot.

I try to obey the voice. I am heartless remember. Plus I doubt it that she dead so… Whatever. I take in a deep breath and as I see Al running Goyle's way and carrying her out of the room I turn away from them and sit again by my cauldron.

I stare at its content blankly. Heartless people do not help others. They do not feel guilt, they do not care.

For one spare moment I raise my head but then I turn it back down to the potion. Because, for just one split second that I looked up I caught sight of a pair of grey, silver eyes. But they were not arrogant, sarcastic and smug as they usually were.

No. They were narrowed with anger and had a disappointed spark in them.

I need a drink.

I need a guy.

I need air.

I need _Air._

oOo

"Air!" I shriek. Yes, this time it was a shriek. Why bother concealing it?

I wave my arm at a masked guy who just entered 'Flash'. Where has he been all this time? Usually he is here much earlier. I mean I had to drink all on my own, and I believe I have explained to you how lame that is.

He notices my drunken figure but seems indifferent. Or at least I think so. Is there something wrong? Did I Sectumsempra him too?

I stand up with a little too much effort and walk his way.

"Air!" I wave my hand in front of his nose. He has to notice me now.

"Myra." He mutters defeated. Like he was trying to avoid me and just figured out he failed.

"Why are you ignoring me?" I go straight to my point.

"I did not see you." Look at him. Not even a little effort to sound honest.

"Yeah, sure." I mutter back sarcastically.

"Look, Myra, what do you want?" What the fuck is wrong with him?

"I want someone to get wasted with and talk about nonsense." I point out confidently.

"Well, I'm sorry but it's not gonna happen." Excuse me? Isn't that what he usually does?

"But…" He raises an eye at me. Finally. I hate it when people avoid my face.

"No, Myra. I am not going to do what you order me to. Can't you understand that people are not your slaves?" Erm, what? Where did that come from? I don't remember ordering him… I mean I was a bit …hmm… strict but still….

"What's the matter with you today?" I snap likewise.

"What's wrong with me? Better ask what's wrong with you!" Still not getting his point. Which is worrying let me tell you cause I am quite fast in grasping stuff.

"Nothing!" I know I am not supposed to sound exasperated but…one can hold his freaking-out-ness for that long. Freaking-out-ness huh? Cool.

"Right! So you are acting mental for no real reason." He states more than asks in an out-raged voice.

"You're the one shouting at me for nothing!" I cannot believe the shit that comes out of this guy's mouth. And I thought he might help me process the 'Goyle Incident'. I thought he could really give me a piece of advice about anger-management. I was an idiot alright. The guy is as selfish as anyone.

"Nothing? So what happened…" Air stares at me shocked as his voice trails off. He whispers a few curses under his breath. Something about keeping his mouth shut or something.

"What happened?" I take on from his last words. He hesitates.

"Nothing." He breathes. This must be for sure mental-day. It's official now.

"I am lost. I cannot understand a single thing you say today. Are you planning on explaining to me what's gotten into you anytime soon or shall I go?" I've had enough with this incoherent conversation.

"Yeah, go. Run away. Like the little coward that you are. Never able to face up to your own mistakes." The masked guy I thought liked me is now shooting me killing looks. "I mean isn't running away what you are doing, coming here every night? Abandoning your family and friends who I guess really care about you. The only thing I _don't_ get Myra, is why you do it. Is people's _niceness_ so hard for you to bear?" I feel my insides turning out. How could he know so much about me?

People are not supposed to 'read' you that way. They are supposed to see what you want them to. Not mess with your brains like that.

It feels like he has entered my mind without permission and is redecorating the place. Damn him.

"Shut up!" I spit at his face. Please, please stop talking that way.

Suddenly I see his shoulder moving, his long arm rising and five long fingers approaching my face dangerously. I close my eyes expecting, almost accepting the impact. But I sense no pain.

I re-open them and glance at his raised hand standing shaking inches from my cheek. Why hasn't he slapped me?

I watch as his fingers, clench into a fist that cuts away all blood. But instead of shoving his dangerously close from my face fist, I turn its way , causing my nose to brush his thumb.

Oh, no! No bloody way. This is not happening!

Memory erased. Memory lost and forgotten.

Or not…

Damn!

This smell.

Soap, male cologne and something more. The last smell in my Amortentia Potion. I feel dizzy. I'm not really sure if it is from the shock or the drinks, or perhaps a combination of both. What I am sure about is that this is not good.

Smelling a guy that likes you in your Amortentia potion is bad –for a heartless person like myself- . But smelling the guy that just cursed your eyes out for no reason in your Amortentia potion? Well, that is simply horrible.

"You're right. I was running away." I scream at him more annoyed than ever. "But not anymore. So continue what you were about to do." I glare at him daringly. His grey pools sparkling as I know my blue ones are.

"Hit me then. I dare you." 'I dare you'? Why am I even doing this? Is it perhaps because I deserve it? Is it because I harmed the Goyle girl today?

Naaah…

"So who's the coward now huh?" I feel bad. I have no idea why, but it hurts like shit.

And don't you even think of asking what hurts like shit. That I haven't yet figured.

"I'm not gonna hit you." Air states like it is the most natural thing. Now that his fist is hanging centimeters away from my face.

"You were about to. Why stop now?" He searches my masked face for something. No idea what.

"Because you see that is the problem with us nice people. No matter what you do we could never hurt you." The tall masked guy approaches me even more, lowering his hand so as to touch my shoulder. I see realization dawning on his eyes and he looks away.

"I could never hurt you." He points out and releases my shoulder. Not that he was really holding it in the first place. Just resting his hand on it.

Then he turns his back and heads towards the door. I hesitate for a moment, letting his words sink in and then I storm behind him.

"I did something terrible today." I whisper to his shoulder. Damn I have no idea why I said that. I mean if you asked me tem minutes ago I would say it was no big deal anyway.

So why I confessed it to him and in such an apologetic manner… Something to do with the redecoration of my mind he is doing maybe.

He stiffens in front of me. He swifts his head a little to send me a surprised look and then nods.

And that was it. He just proceeds to leave and I no longer try to stop him.

Nothing more and somehow I don't think any more was needed.

A/N: Ok, sorry again , but it is a big chapter no?

I do hope you like it.

Press the little button and REVIEW!

I adore you.

Keep reading

Kisses

Sarah


	4. Chapter 4

A/N: Ok, as I promised a fast update.

But there was just one review… bou hou hou

Never mind though, I still love ya all, hope you still like the story

Enjoy!

Chapter 4:

Why am I being mean? Why did that sweet caring girl I used to be two years ago turned into this heartless creature I am now? I know for a thing I planned none of it. So who did? Was it Mother Nature that decided to relieve this world from another kind person? Was it Merlin himself who made up his mind about it?

Now don't mistake my questions as guilt. I am perfectly well with myself. Or at least I was till lately. Till that prat , wondering the world as Air, or whatever his real name is, asked me.

Asked me why I cannot bear people's niceness. And since then I have found myself posing the same question more than I would wish to admit. In the night when I am pointlessly staring at the ceiling of my bed. At the class when I am hearing of another spell I will never need to use. At the Great Hall as I am listening to another girl blabbering away her and my brain cells in conversations about hair and nails.

And in one of those oh, so pleasant occasions, I came to realize that my life is, rather pointless. Pointless sleepless nights, pointless boring lessons, pointless beauty talks.

Pointless stupid girl.

A coward that keeps running away.

Air's words not mines.

So he was right about this. Being a heartless bitch doesn't make me braver or smarter. It just gives me moments of happiness.

Happiness though, is the result, not the trigger of our actions.

Quoting Air again.

I feel so pathetic. How can I be listening to the crap this guy says? He is mental. A looser that has no life, no friends, no significance of his own. So he tries to rip off everybody else's importance too. Obviously!

However his words rest in my mind, restlessly hitting its walls trying to wake up something in there sleeping. Conscience perhaps?

Merlin! I am turning mental myself now. And I was such a smart heartless person. I could do big things. What a pity I ought to be put in an asylum now.

"Miss Weasley, please! At least pretend to be paying some attention to the lesson." Professor Atkins hates me. Of course I hate him too but this is hardly the point. He is one of the few people who treat me badly. You know sometimes he just reminds me of Malfoy.

"I-…" I could explain to him. I mean it would be really stupid to lose my O in Transfiguration because I was impolite to him.

"Please do not waste anymore of my time Miss." Oh, why do I even bother?

"Could you Mr Malfoy give me the spell I am asking for?" He turns to the seat behind me.

"Of course Sir." '_Of course Sir' _. Yeah, Malfoy , now go get the bone like the little dog you are. Prat. The blonde behind me explains the spell but I pay no attention to him. My gaze has meanwhile fallen upon Malfoy's best mate, and my three months older cousin, Albus.

He is staring at me and then back at the blonde. Then back at me and back at Malfoy, and so on.

"Cut it out Al." I hiss under my breath when Malfoy finishes his boringly perfect monologue and Atkins descends to his desk.

"Finish what exactly?" Al hisses back a fake innocent light in his eyes.

"Staring back and forth." Ok, that was my line, yet not me who said it. I consider for a moment the possibility that my voice has changed dramatically so that it resembles a male one. But I shake my head to this.

Someone else is speaking my mind. However mental that sounds.

"It makes you look even dorkier than you already look with those glasses." Malfoy! So it was him who stole my thoughts away. But calling his friend a dork? That I did not expect from him.

"If you care to know Scorp girls seem to appreciate the glasses a lot. They say I look like my dad." I roll my eyes and watch as my arch-enemy in the desk behind me mimics my move.

I think I had as much interaction as I wished for one day with those two. I turn my back and continue 'pretending to pay attention to the lesson' as Atkins put it.

The two saints from my back whisper something I fail to hear and sink into silence themselves.

oOo

However this is not the last words I exchange with the lot of them of the day, as I had previously wished.

I was doing patrol with Kirsten Nott, Hufflepuff prefect, that same night. And it was let me tell you awful. She was going on about how her boyfriend cheated on her with Dona Milligan and how she was so hurt and heartbroken.

I on the other hand was in a state between sleep and nausea and I almost felt glad that someone had decided to break the curfew rule –and some other rules together with it I suppose- only because this would spare me from her endless whining.

"Who is in there?" I whispered. I know that I should speak louder, so that the person or people in the corridor nearby would get the message and stop doing what they were doing. But I did not. Imagine what I waste it would be to catch somebody red-handed and never find out whom he has killed.

"This has to stop." Said a male voice. It did sound familiar but I could not be sure cause it came as a whisper.

"Why?" A second voice. Male and familiar as well.

"Cause my nerves are broken with you and your attitude and you ideas." Care to elaborate mate? I am dying for a scandal right here and now.

"Well, that's new. I thought you actually enjoyed my _ideas_." The second voice said sarcasm evident in his words.

"That's not true. I just… I just said …" Oh, come on! You choose now to lose your ability to speak?

"You admitted liking it. Now what's the problem?" Yes! What is the problem? I need to know.

"You know perfectly well what the problem is. I- I can't –" With the corner of my eye I see Kirsten Nott taking a step forward and moved towards the corridor. What the hell is this girl doing?

"Excuse me! Who is it?" Oh, come on Merlin! I already attacked Goyle. Do you seriously want me to hex Nott as well? She just ruined my fun.

I hear the two people gasping in surprise and staring at Nott. I follow her example defeated and come closer to the dark corridor myself.

And guess what? The two saints were there looking seriously alarmed at our intrusion.

"Well, hello!" I fake a happy smile their way.

My dear cousin Al is messing his hair with his hand and tries –in vain- to hide the fear in his eyes. Fear? Now where did that come from? I mean I know I was perfectly violent with Goyle but still he is like a head taller than me and quite built. Not to mention that he has Malfoy next to him, who is even taller.

Now, Malfoy is another thing. To tell you the truth I never paid any attention to him or his features. However it is rather difficult to overlook the fact that his blonde hair look strangely …nice in the dim lit corridor and his T-shirt makes his reasonably built figure even more obvious. But what really catches ones breath is I think his eyes.

His silver-grey eyes are not scared like Al's. They are of course shocked as expected but surely not scared. Malfoy looks more… ashamed.

Supposing for a moment that he _is _in fact capable for such a feeling.

Yeah, I know that is rich coming from me.

"Rose." Yes, that is my name Al.

"What exactly were you doing in here?" I ask seriously.

"Nothing. What did you hear?" Hmm…

"Everything. I heard everything Al." My black-haired cousin opens his mouth in terror, but his –oh so clever- mate shoves him in the shoulder and brings him back to reality.

"She heard nothing mate. She's just bluffing." Smart arse! Albus sighs loudly.

"Come on Scorp. Let's go." Hey, hey, hey! _Prefect_ here!

"Now, wait a second there! I caught you out at eleven o'clock , what makes you think that I will not take you to McGonagall?" I smirk devilishly. However, Malfoy mimics my smirk . Which is weird let me tell you cause _I _got _him_ cornered.

"Goyle is still in the hospital wing you know Weasley. Said she got injured in Defense Against the Dark Arts. It would be a pity if the Headmistress found out the truth now wouldn't it?" Wha-? Goyle lied to save me? So that's why McGonagall didn't ask to see me. Or expel me for that matter.

"You filthy blackmailer!" I take a step towards the blonde just to break that smirk off his face.

And I succeed. He drops the act and steps back a few inches. Like he is afraid to touch me. Ok, I will say this only once. I have no contagious disease, got it Malfoy? I mean what's wrong with that guy?

"Better be a blackmailer than a perv who attacks people for no reason." This was Albus getting back on the game I guess. Well, he was the only one of the family who hadn't yet scolded me for it , I suppose I should have seen that coming.

"None of your business Al." I hiss menacingly.

"None of my business? Rose, like it or not it is my business. Cause I care about you." I feel Air's words being thrust upon me suddenly. 'Abandoning your family and friends who I guess really care about you.'

Why does he have to be so bloody correct about everything?

"Did I ask you to? Did I ask for a black-haired walking conscience? No I did not. So no need to oblige." I scream at my cousin.

"Well, that's the thing Rose. I am family. And family usually does that. Care I mean." I take a step backwards, his words tingling strangely in my ears.

"Or do you think _I _asked for it?" He stressed the words 'I' so much it almost sounds ridiculous.

"You think that if I had to choose someone to be my cousin I would ask for you? You?" He did not just say what I thought he did. He did not.

He did not just admit out loud, in my face, that he would rather have a troll as a cousin than me. I feel offended. I mean I know I am mean to family but I never say the actual words. Besides, I am heartless. Remember?

I cannot meet his eyes anymore and he seems perfectly oblivious to the amount of distress he has just caused. In fact I doubt that he has in fact realized what he said. But that is no excuse.

I look away immediately, only to get caught by another pair of eyes. Not green, like Al's but grey. Grey-silver.

Malfoy, however stupid he might be appears to have understood the situation much better than Al. His cheeks are a bit flashed, like I bet you'll never see Malfoy's eyes and he has something in his gaze that implies a pinch of understanding.

"Al! Stop it." Malfoy is scolding Al because he scolded me? Wow!

It's like saying that Voldemort is scolding Bellatrix for killing Sirius. Or maybe I should be Voldy. Judging by my recent actions and all.

So it should go like, dad is scolding Uncle-Harry for killing Voldemort.

Ok, wait Malfoy is my dad in this version? Ew! I think now's about time I stop with the explanations and focus on the actual events. I suck at examples anyway.

I eye Malfoy in disbelief and he swifts his gaze to my cousin. Or rather former-cousin.

"Let's go." The blonde grabs his friend (No longer my cousin) and flees the scene.

oOo

I do not feel like going to 'Flash' tonight. You see I had no idea that depression can have that affect on you. Interesting. From this moment on I must remember, when miserable, avoid clubs.

So I stay where I was. And by that I don't mean just the school. I say it rather literally. Where I was. Where the two saints left me two hours ago. In the middle of an empty, dim lit corridor. Cool.

The only good thing about this night is that at last Nott stopped talking about her broken heart and left to finish the patrol without me. Lucky me!

And as I sit alone, back against a wall, which doesn't feel so cold after two hours (Just mentioning it in case you were wondering) when I hear someone coughing from over me.

I raise my head slowly. Maybe it is Al. Maybe he came to say sorry. Not that I would ever forgive him but… oh mercy! When exactly did I start caring huh?

But, no. It is not Al. Nevertheless it was a close guess. It is his best friend. Malfoy.

Every time I see him his name is the only thing that comes to my mind.

Like you know when you see someone and you go like 'At last he came' or 'I am so happy' or 'Damn it's him' or even 'Just kill me now' in your mind (The last two being much appropriate to describe Malfoy's and my reactions when seeing each other) .

Well, all _I _say is 'Malfoy.' And that is like a curse to my inner mouth. Why bother swearing inwards when all I need to do is remind myself his name?

"Malfoy." See?

"Still on patrol Weasley?" Who is he kidding? I know that he knows that I am not patrolling at the moment. And he knows that I know that he knows … Oh, you get the picture.

I shoot him a just-drop-the-act look. Fortunately he gets it. Unfortunately, he slowly places himself next to me on the wooden floor.

"Want something? Bringing a message from my ex-cousin perhaps? How he hates me and he would kill to have someone else in my place? Or have you come across some other part of my family who despise me and you came to announce it?" I don't look at him as I say this. I know I sound idiotic and childish and I bet he knows it too.

"He doesn't hate you." Malfoy mutters from next to me and I run my eyes on his face for the first time since he told Al off about telling me off.

In his big nice grey eyes (if you tell anyone I called Malfoy's eyes nice you're dead) I spot the signs of guilt. Why does he feel guilty now?

"Of course not! He just wishes I didn't exist to ridicule his family." I snap at the smug, cunning blonde who made the mistake of approaching me when I am mad.

"No. He's just angry you attacked the girl he fancies and he acts mental." What did he just say? What on Merlin's name just came out of this prat's mouth?

"Albus likes Goyle? Holy shit!" I make no effort to hide my surprise. That cannot possibly be. Al is –though I hate to admit it- one of the best guys in the whole school. Handsome, clever, funny nice –ew- and a Slytherin.

And Goyle is…well I must admit that she is not utterly ugly but she has no idea how to look good. She's wearing her dad's school uniforms, that are ten times her size and she hasn't brushed her hair in like ...ever. Brown boring eyes with nothing interesting in them, though they do have a nice almond shape and well I really just overreacted calling her nose huge. It is a little bigger than mines …hmm.

"Tell me about it. Trying to prove that love is blind he is." Like hell, he is!

"Well not just that but she's totally, absolutely, utterly stupid!" I add.

"I know! I mean, I doubt that she can even read. I still remember this time last year that we were paired together for an essay and she was reading 'Coal' when it obviously said 'Cloak' ." Didn't I say it people? Didn't I?

"Yesterday she was reading 'Bellanova' instead of 'Belladona' in Potions." His eyes are flashing with excitement.

"I told him he was being stupid but he won't listen. I mean, I bet she doesn't even like him." Oh, well…

"Don't really count on that." I can still bring to mind her sparkling eyes when she spoke about him and his smell.

"Crap! She does like him? And I was telling him all this time that she fancies his brother!" Oups!

"Yes she does. And you told him she fancies James? Really creative Malfoy!" Malfoy, Malfoy, Malfoy. Where have I heard this name before? Oh it's the guy I've been friendly chatting with for the past ten minutes. Right!

I have to say only one thing.

Holy. Shit.

I pause in shock and he looks as if a bludger has shoved him at the back of his head. I'm guessing he has just realized who he is talking to as well. Surprise, surprise.

"Weasley." He announces.

"Yes…" I reply.

"You do realize we just had a civilized conversation right?" I suppress a chuckle that is fighting its way out of my mouth. I nod.

"Well, that's new." He smirks and then the Malfoy smirk transforms a bit. Just a little tiny bit. But this tiny bit is enough to make it look almost cute on his face. Or maybe it is the first time I noticed that little detail.

"Malfoy! You can smile?" I exclaim in fake shock. The smirk-smile never leaves his face . It only widens. And somehow that relaxes me.

"I'm trying to. You see I get really bad comments on my smirk lately." I thank Merlin inwards for that. I could really do without his smirks.

"Well, if it makes you feel any better I always said it was awful." I place a victory smile on my face. Like a bloody five-year old that gets more Christmas presents .

"And why would that make me feel better." Nice comeback. Oh, just scratch that.

"Right, it wouldn't. But it makes _me_ feel better." Well, it is official . I am totally staring at his smirk. Is there no dignity left in me? Merlin!

"That's good I suppose. You looked like hell before. Which reminds me. Al doesn't hate you. He's really sorry for what he said. He just lost control." I nod again. You know what? Malfoy? Well, he's not as disturbing as I thought.

"Lost control huh? Yeah, I know how it feels." Now it is his time to nod.

"He smelled her in his Amortentia you know?" Al smelled Goyle? Speaking of coincidences.

"She did too. Smell him I mean." He doesn't even raise an eyebrow to my comment. Like he expected it. Like it doesn't matter to him. Like there was something else he meant to ask.

"And you? What did you smell?" I suddenly ask. He stares at me and his smirk drops.

"I-I…well it's none of your business… What did you smell?" Erm what? He just scolded me for asking and then he repeats my question?

"I'll tell you if you tell me." I smirk mischievously. Though I'm sure my smirk could never compare to his.

"Fine." He mutters defeated. "I smelled lawn, from the Quidditch pitch and ink like from fresh-printed book and… someone." Why did he just go and spoil the best part?

"Well, ignoring the fact that you didn't tell me _who _you smelled, I must say I smelled books, like yourself , vanilla cream and …well a guy I know. " He looks only a tad annoyed.

Then he stands up and I see a hand in front of my face.

"Time to go back to our respective dorms don't you think Weasley?" Malfoy demands more than asks and I feel no urge to disobey. I am rather tired myself and a wooden floor is the last place you want to end up sleeping. I take his offering hand and stand up myself.

I walk quietly next to the blonde for a while till our paths split.

"Go get your beauty sleep Malfoy." I tell him blissfully before leaving.

"Goodnight to you too Weasley." He blissfully replies .

What in Merlin's name was that?

Was Malfoy being nice to me ? I mean he did try to stop Al and he did come back for me. Wait, wait , wait. He came back for ME! I cannot believe it yet there is no other explanation.

And on the other hand. Was I being nice to Malfoy? Did I just stare at him as he walked away? I know for a thing that I did stare at his smirk. I stared at his SMIRK!

This day started with a question. Why am I being mean? And it ends with another question. Why am I being nice?

A/N: So… no Air/Rose interaction in this one. Yet lots of Scorpius/Rose.

Hi, hi, hi

Hope you liked it.

Review. I live on those.

I' m sitting an exam tomorrow which I will probably fail since I am writing all night.

Wish me luck anyway

Kisses and Hugs

Sarah


	5. Chapter 5

A/N: Ok , I know , I know… where have I been for all this time.

Well, terribly sorry but I am in the middle of the end of the year exams so…

Yeah, busy

Anyways,

I own nothing except perhaps for the ideas but characters and background are all J. K. R.

But I don't plan on letting that little fact discourage me.

So ,

Enjoy!

**Chapter 5 :**** Remembrance and Oblivion **

Life in general has an inexplicable power to surprise me. Lately though it appears that the universe is making a real effort to shake me off my little perfectly heartless world.

Yeah, I know. I make no sense. But you see nothing makes sense anymore, so why should I ?

Firstly I hex Goyle for no real reason, pissing everyone off and making them look at me just a little bit too suspiciously.

Secondly Air, who had been sort of a frien-… sorry I meant companion to my drunken nights goes on acting all weird and mad around me.

Thirdly my ex-cousin Al who used to be such a saint, scolds my eyes off because , apparently I cursed his sweetheart (ewww!) .

Fourthly his equally angelic , saint-like mate, Malfoy, scolds _his_ eyes off for scolding _my_ eyes off.

And lastly, I am having in fact a conversation with Malfoy. And guess what?

No. No permanent damages.

Or scars.

Or missing parts.

Or injuries of any kind.

I mean, Merlin!

Hmmmm.

Identity ? Check. I am still Rose Weasley and he too is still Scorpius Bloody Malfoy.

Memory? Check. I have no time loops or anything that could suggest memory loss.

Soberness? Check. I hadn't consumed alcohol for more than twenty four hours.

Mental health? Yeah… doubt it.

I was surely hallucinating.

I mean it is most likely that I was hallucinating.

I'm sure there is some possibility that I was hallucinating.

I hope I was hallucinating.

I wish I was.

I pray even…

That cute smirk of his… Damn.

Just who am I kidding?

I don't understand the first thing about it. Why on Merlin's name was Malfoy speaking to me. Why was I speaking to Malfoy? Did I in fact enjoy myself in his company?

And most importantly, why am I thinking of it now? I don't care about the saint. Got it? He is an arrogant, pompous, fake-nice , deceiving bastard.

_Erm, and since when did we begin hating those guys?_ I hear my inner voice mutter at me. _I thought that was the type of people we could enjoy having around us. Weren't you who said you appreciated this attitude? _

Oh, how I hate inner voices. I mean I think their only reason for existing is to make one doubt oneself. They always go around posing pointless questions that are supposed to make one see how things really are.

Well, not happening, dear inner voice. Not happening.

Plus I am absolutely capable of confusing myself on my own, thank you very much!

What am I doing now ya think? Exactly.

Everything was just great. I had my cover, the 'nice-girl' seal and I could do anything behind it. Noone suspected me.

Up until now that is. And damn it , that means only one thing.

Trouble.

I am in deep shit. Period.

Luckily I am not the only one who's fucked up.

Oh, just look at him.

Him, as in my ex-cousin Al. Staring blankly at the empty seat next to me. Goyle's seat if you were wondering.

Poor love-struck saint. I would probably feel sorry for him if I didn't hate his guts since yesterday. When he totally cursed me because I casted one little, harmless (almost harmless) spell on that _thing _that's supposed to be the love of his life.

Mercy. I mean you would think that after a certain age people would stop believing those utter crap about love and happiness. Well, no dear readers, they don't.

The –ehem- other saint , on his right is rolling his eyes at his friend till he catches me –by accident I assure you- staring at him. He, then smirks his not-so-hateful smirk (that makes me remember last night a bit too well for my own liking) at me and motions with his head at Al.

I simply refuse to acknowledge the events of last night and turn my back at his surprised figure. Sorry Malfoy but I am not one of these who make friends.

But then a little piece of paper finds itself on my desk. I slowly, cautiously open it and read, 'Weasley, talk to your bloody cousin before he stabs himself or something equally dramatic.' .

Excuse me?! Could this possibly be Malfoy sending me messages during class. Ok, Merlin. What exactly do you want from me?

'No. Get lost Malfoy.' I scrap furiously and send the paper back with a flick of my wand.

I know he will be probably shocked by my manner. I mean yesterday I was rather civilized so he was bound to be expecting something more, well, polite. But as I said, I am not one of those who make friends. Especially with saints.

Nevertheless I feel this little pinch inside of me . No, it is not guilt. It is something I ate that makes my stomach ache _like_ I feel guilty. And did I mention it is _like _feeling guilty?

'He's sorry and you know it. Just talk to him.' That saint is really persistent. I cannot believe he dares to insist. Who does he thinks he is?

'No , he deserves this.' I dunno why I am explaining this but now it is too late. I have already written it.

'He lost control, remember? Like you did.' Oh, he did not just use the 'we-had-a-civilized-conversation-last-night' card! He did not!

'No as a matter of fact I don't remember. Now sod off you jerk.' I hear a peculiar sound from behind me just a minute after sending Malfoy my final reply and I swift around only to see, well nothing.

He's gone. And I mean really literally gone. He got up from his seat and stormed off the class . In the middle of the lesson. Merlin, that boy…

Al seems equally puzzled and he even ventures a questioning look my way. He looks almost funny. All scared and unsure. I have to put a lot of effort to stop myself from laughing at him. And that is a first.

I never had a problem with stopping myself from laughing. Rather the opposite in fact. I always needed to make an effort to even make myself crack a smile.

And I repeat, what is wrong with me?

oOo

"Rose." I am already out of the classroom and heading to the Great Hall when I hear a voice calling after me. Oh, what does the world want from me?

"Rose! Just wait a second." It is Al. I stop dead on my tracks. No idea why.

"Yes?" I give him a cold look. One of those looks that make you go 'Brrr!'

"I-I just…" Stammering already? That boy was never one for words.

"I'm sorry." Come again?

"Wha-?" Ok, now I'm stammering. Marvelous.

"I said I'm sorry. I didn't mean what I said last night. I was just pissed off at you so I acted all nuts." Yeah…I know…I nod.

"Rose…" Albus starts over and I don't interrupt him. "I hate it how we are now. I mean, we used to be friends didn't we? You used to call me Al and you sounded cute. Now you say it like it's some sort of curse." Oh, and only if you heard how I say 'Malfoy.'

"People change Albus." I finally manage to utter. He seems genuinely disappointed.

"I know you are right. It's just that, I still want to be a part of your life. Even if it is nothing like the friendship we used to share." Erm. What am I supposed to say now?

"Why?" Is all I can come up with.

"Cause I miss you Rose. That's why I am bitter some times." Is it perhaps… Could it be… Is it possible that…this is the reason why I am bitter too?

"That and because you fancy the pants off Goyle." I form a smirk that Merlin only knows where it came from. He smiles too flushed a little.

"Yeah , that too. Scorpius told you?" Oh, him. I nod again.

"How is she?" Oh, Sweet Merlin, what am I asking? I'm heartless, remember? '_No. As a matter of fact I don't remember!' _This annoying inner voice repeats what I wrote Malfoy earlier. Oh, how I hate inner voices!

"Better. She really likes you, you know." Al mumbles still ashamed.

"Ok." I agree absentmindedly.

"So what do you say? Is there any chance I could be considered your cousin again?" He concludes. Now let me think about it.

"I'll see you in History of Magic Al." I send him half a smile and he grin back getting the message. I begin to leave when he stops me with his hand.

"You won't forget this conversation we just had will you?" My cousin looks ashamed. I shoot him a curious look?

"What do you mean?" I wonder out loud.

"I mean you won't go all this-never-happened on me, will you? Like you did with Scorp." That last sentence is barely audible. However I manage to decode the whisper and I freeze the spot.

"No." I reply stoned at the revelation. So has the blonde spoken about our talk to Al? So in other words he bothered to think of it. Maybe even ponder.

Ok, Rose cut it out. Get a grip. This talk never happened. Remember what you told him?

oOo

Eleven thirty, 'Flash'.

The night is, as it is accustomed to say, still young and I am drinking, trying to drown those new-found thoughts and guilt (yes, yes it was guilt, happy now?) in a glass –or maybe two- of firewhiskey.

I need to talk to Air. He always knows what to do in those cases. And by 'those cases' I mean the cases involving emotions and stuff. Things I usually avoid having.

And I am about to go search for him when suddenly I spot him at the other end of the bar sipping from what appears to be his… tenth shot. Merlin! Even I am not such a good drinker.

"Hi." I greet him while placing myself next to him.

He's obviously dizzy because it takes him a moment or so to recognize me. Since when did Air begun drinking that much. I thought he said he was not one of those to get drunk.

"Oh, it's you." He whispered in a slightly surprised voice.

"You sound surprised." I point out still smiling. He turns even grumpier than before. What did I say now?

"Whatever. Can you leave alone? I need some space now." Since when does _he_ want to stay on his own? That is so my line!

"You look grumpy." I am not giving up so easily.

"So what if I bloody am? It is none of your business. Leave. Me. Alone." I thought we were friends –ok, sorry companions- with that guy. What is the matter?

"You seem mad." I smirk whilst saying this and he glares.

"Give this girl a prize will you?" Air says bitterly.

"Ok, what's wrong with you?" I ask worried. Worried? Oh, just forget I ever said that.

"None of your business." He hisses angrily like he hardly ever does.

"Fine don't tell me. It's not like I care. I will, however tell you my troubles. And when you hear me out you'll see how much deeper in shit I am . And you will probably realize that what you've been depressing about is totally meaningless." I take a deep breath and he ventures a look at me. Good now he's interested.

"Look, remember how I told you I'm still at school?" He nods mechanically.

"Well, I'm working in Potions with this girl who can be a real pain in the arse sometimes. And one day that I had woken up on the wrong side of the bed she was all giggly and delighted on me." Air nods, sign that I have his full attention.

"She said all sorts of stupid things and I told her like a million times to cut it out but she wouldn't. So I hexed her. Big time." He doesn't flinch at all. Ok that's weird.

"And…?" He urges me.

"And it turns out she ended up in the hospital wing and still she didn't say a word about me cursing her. Which is… well unexpected." He cracks a very faint smile.

"Maybe she likes you. Perhaps she was hoping you could be friends." Erm… seriously? That hadn't really crossed my mind.

Air notices my shocked eyes and his smile widens.

"You had no idea did you?" I shake my head frantically. _Yeah, you can be stupid like that sometimes_ , my inner voice interferes.

"And not only that but turns out my cousin fancies her." Air's eyes darken a bit and his smile falls.

"So he came to me and said I'd rather not be related to him." My drunken companion stares at me blankly.

"That is indeed a problem." He admits looking away from me.

"And that's not the whole deal." There's Malfoy you see…

The masked guy turns to stare at me once more. Expecting my words with a little more curiosity than I had expected. Strange…

"My cousin's best friend, stood up for me. Which is let me tell you past weird." Hey! Why is Air smiling now? I thought it was 'grumpy day' today for him.

"Is that so bad?" He asks playfully. Playfully?

"It is so weird I just can't tell if it is good or bad. I mean this guy was always hating me." His smile fades immediately.

"Oh." Is all he gets to say before I lose all my patience and start speaking again.

"He hated me. That guy. And so did I. So do I. I think… Oh, I just don't know. But yesterday we were ok. He was nice, he even smiled at me once or twice, which I shouldn't have noticed, cause I hate him, yet I did anyway. Air, what's wrong with me?" I see a battle going on in his eyes. Surprise , confusion and happiness fighting for dominance.

Happiness wins and his grey eyes sparkle with joy. He looks surprisingly cute now. My troubles begun fading away.

"What was wrong with you all this time is the real question." He explains still amused.

"It is obvious to me that all those three people like you. So why do you keep them away?" All _three_? I mean, ok Al does like me. And I guess Goyle could too, but Malfoy? Oh, come on!

"Oh, come on…" I repeat and he looks baffled.

"No, you just listen to me. First off, go and tell your cousin you're not mad and make up with him. Then go and say 'hi' to the poor girl who probably waits for you to visit. And finally…" He blacks out for a moment before adding. "don't be so suspicious on that other guy. What if he actually wanted to be nice?" Doubt it.

"I don't know…" I really don't. This is so not me. I do feel like doing so but it is not a heartless thing to do.

"Is this all about your heartless theory?" He asks and sends a 'you-are-so-childish' look at me. I simply nod.

"You begun being heartless cause it was making things better didn't you?" I nod again.

"Well, then what's wrong with turning nice again if it makes things easier too?" That…could in fact make some sense you know.

"You do have a point… Oh, no!" Oh! No! Is this…?! Damn it. Devon Cart. As in my first intimate acquaintance in this place. The first one I slept with. The most jealous guy this world had ever come across. The most jealous guy I had ever come across. And he was totally obsessed with me after I broke up with him.

Remember this story I once told you about a guy hexing the brains off someone I was snogging? Well, yeah that one.

Air next to me appears to be lost at translation. He is looking back and forth between me and the object of my agony.

"Come here." I say grabbing my masked friend's arm and dragging him in one corner of the bar.

I pull him closer to me , my back against a wall and he stares at me , his jaw barely remaining on his face.

"This is an ex of mines who is really nuts. He thinks he owns me or something." Air's mouth forms an 'O' from which he quickly recovers and gives me a stern look. Ok, ok, I know I have a talent picking the best.

"I'm taking the mask off." I announce and he opens his eyes wide.

"Well, ninety-nine percent chance he won't recognize me if I'm unmasked." I explain. Which is true.

"Isn't it supposed to be the other way around?" My companion dares to ask. Oh, how stupid that boy is.

"No. You see, we were met here and the only chances he had of seeing my real face were early in the morning in his place. But then we were both too hangover to really notice." Air's eyes darken quickly. I feel his gaze picking holes in my face and body. I had forgotten how just he is.

And then I take out the mask. Ok, he doesn't seem appalled or repulsed in any way. Which means he doesn't find me totally hideous. But wait, since when am I worrying about the way I look. _Since the day you smelled him in your Amortentia_ , my unbearable inner voice explains.

"So?" He looks at me absentmindedly now.

"So what do you think?" I pose my question. The question whose answer I'm really anxious to hear.

"About what?" He is kidding me right?

"How do I look?!" I exclaim and then gasp cause I gave my self away. The guy who is holding me in his arms cautiously seems to only now realize what I am talking about. Then he looks at me like had never seen me before and that exact moment I wish I had never asked.

His piercing grey pools search my red hair and my neck. Then they cross my face twice stopping just a little too long to observe my eyes. He checks my cheekbones and my chin till he finally rests his gaze on my lips and gulps. Yes, he actually gulped. Merlin! I feel nervous.

"You don't need me to tell you, you are beautiful Myra." He whispers close to me and I feel the temperature rising. "You never did." He smiles. I smile.

And then finally I let myself go. I embrace his touch, his smell. Soap, male cologne (which smells surprisingly fresh) and something that belongs to him and him only.

A heavenly place to be and from the looks of it I think he agrees.

Suddenly he raises a hand and touches my cheek, brushes my lips and ends up in my hair. And after that all comes as a blur.

He's kissing me. His soft lips crushing on mines then moving on them. His tongue plays on my mouth and an exhilarating feeling takes over my body. I catch his neck with my hands pulling him down closer to me. He too captures my waist in his hands and starts moving under my shirt.

And then he lets go. Why? Why Merlin?

I turn to look at him annoyed and out of breath.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to…to go that far." Yeah, sure! Then why hasn't he released me yet huh? Hahaha.

I grin at him mischievously.

"But I don't mind." I explain and I have this feeling my old heartless self is coming back.

"I-I… you should!" Air scolds me. "What if I intended to hurt you?" He continues annoyed.

"I know you for a month or maybe even more, I think you had your fair share of chances to hurt me." I point out matter-of-factly , even though conversing is not at all what is crossing my mind now.

"I don't understand you Myra. You choose to open up to me even though you don't know the first thing about me, but you are always pushing away all those who you know well and whenever _they _try to be friendly." Why , for Merlin's sake, is he getting mad at me?

"I had no idea that hearing me and talking to me would be so annoying to you." I whisper icily and bitterly.

"I never said…" He trails off awfully. "I never said that. I just find it strange. I will always be here for you but I still think there are other who wish to play that role. Others who can give you more than I can." He is sincere. I can tell. So I nod.

I won't even bother to count how many times I have nodded to day. It is pointless.

"I have to go." I mutter quietly removing myself from the wall I had been pinne don for the last thirty minutes.

"I will always be here." Air repeats. And then he catches my hand. Not my arm or my wrist but my hand. "Please_, remember_ this."

I feel dizzy as I walk back to school. Back to my dorm. Back to my bed.

And just before sleep catches me I put a hand on my lips.

How could I forget this feeling?

A/N: Ok, extra long just for you that waited patiently.

Or not quite so…yeah that goes for you Jessy! Hehehe. Thanks very much for the reviews and the advice!

So what I am trying to say is: That this chapter is dedicated to 'jasmineflower' who couldn't wait for it.

I love ya all so much

Don't hesitate to review!!! Tell what you think…

Kisses and Hugs,

Sarah


	6. Chapter 6

A/N: So sorry for the delay but am in the middle of my exams and just begun a new story so…yeah quite busy

By the way this new story is Rose/Scorpius too and its called 'Dead or Alive'

Check it out!

And let me just say that….

I own nothing of this. It is all J. K. R. 's but I guess you knew that.

Gosh I wonder what are disclaimers for?

Anyways

Enjoy!

**Chapter 6:**** The truth in Cinderella**

I think I'm in love.

Dear sweet Merlin , I think I'm in love. And it sucks. I thought I was heartless. I thought nothing mattered. I thought noone mattered. Till he came along and made me question everything I had established during the past two years.

Air.

The guy I've shared all my secrets with. The guy who has been with me almost every night for the last one month. The person I smelled in my Amortentia Potion. The one I kissed and really saw stars.

And…wait for it…

The guy whose real name I have never heard. The person whose face I have never seen.

And I repeat. Dear sweet Merlin!

To say I am confused is a big understatement . I am past confused, even past troubled. Perplexed is not really a word I like using so I would say I am something between jumping off the Astronomy Tower and applying for a place in a mental clinic.

If you get my point.

Have you ever been in one of those situations when the one day you are just fine screwing around and ignoring everyone and the other you feel like crap for being mean and you are wondering what love really means?

Just asking, you know…

And the funniest thing? Till yesterday I was like 'ok, nothing worst can possibly happen.'. I mean I thought there was a certain limit as to how much weird things can a man bear in one week. Well, I guess I was wrong. There isn't!

Trust me. I know.

So I'm asking you, what now?

No ideas? None whatsoever? Yeah… I know the deal.

Cause I am in love! In love.

IN LOVE.

Crap, crap, crap…

And in case you are wondering how do I know, well… it drives me so crazy it's just has to be love.

Since yesterday, my stomach is aching non-stop, I feel a lump in my throat and I cannot stop thinking of him. And smiling. Merlin!

I'm turning into a giggling sweet little girl. Kill me now!

"You look all flushed Miss Weasley." My dear mirror comments as soon as he sees me. Oh, give me a break. I don't need this in eight o'clock in the morning.

"Will you stop it?" I ask indignantly.

"Oh! No 'shut up' today? No 'I will smash into a thousand pieces'? Someone is turning polite in here." Him too? Even my mirror noticed. This is bad.

"Whatever." I fix my hair wash my face and storm out of the bathroom as fast as possible. Trying to spare myself from his comments.

However what I come across in the Great Hall is worst than the mirror talk by far.

First it comes as a whisper. A hum that makes you look around to see what's wrong. So I did. Look I mean. And found out what was wrong.

A bloody Ball.

Great. _Just_ what I needed to ruin my mood even more. And for what its worth there wasn't even a reason for this Ball. McGonagall said it was just to have some fun and relax. What sort of lame excuse is that?

I sigh as I hear some girls giggling and planning what they would wear to make Al fall for them.

I fight the urge to tell them that the only thing they could do to have Al on their feet would be stealing a piece of hair from Goyle and make a really good polyjuice potion.

Which reminds me! I have to talk to Goyle. Apologize or something, like Air said. Oh, crap I'm blushing again. Remember Rose. Never mention his name when in public.

oOo

"Hello?" I whisper while stepping my foot in the infirmary. I take a look around and spot a messed bed in the middle of the room and a girl on it obviously writing furiously something.

I take one step closer to her and repeat. "Hello." Finally she turns her head quickly and sees me. This is bound to be hard.

"Ro- I mean Weasley, hi!" Wow! See seems to remember what I told her. Well that is good, I guess…

"How are you?" I ask seriously and sincerely. And it is true. I do wan to know.

"Oh, just fine. But Madame Pomfrey won't let me go." I nod. Ok, that was not so bad.

"Did you get the notes for the lessons you've missed?" I ask almost shyly. Yeah, I know. There goes my heartlessness out of the window.

"Yeah! Al, brings them to me every day." She replies with a little smile and she blushes.

"But it takes me a lot of time to read them." So she too has realized she's got a problem with reading?

"I've dyslexia." Yeah, she has! That is good.

"So that is why…" I trail off ashamed for speaking bad for her.

"Yes, that's why I never read anything correctly." I am such a bitch. Making fun of her. I nod.

"So- erm- the reason I came here is…well- I just wanted to- to –erm- say…sorry." I don't think I have ever stuttered so much in my entire life. Actually I'd be lucky if she even comprehends what I just said.

"It's ok. I mean at least I get to speak to your cousin every day." That is indeed a valid point. I smile at her weakly.

"Well, I am sorry anyway. For hexing you and insulting you and treating you like shit." Phew! There I've said it.

Suddenly I hear a faint sound from the door and I turn swiftly to see what is going on. And there , against the doorframe stands Malfoy. Smirking that smirk which I find rather nice. I nod his way , letting him know that I have regained my memory.

He nods back and leaves.

"What was all that about?" I hear Goyle hissing playfully from next to me. I turn and give her a surprised look. I never knew she was such a sneaky little girl. Hehehe

"Nothing." I exclaim trying to sound offended, and failing of course.

"Ok…" She smirks devilishly. Is it me or did this girl suddenly became strangely interesting?

"So is it true that there will be a Ball next week?" She inquires soon after. Why did she had to remind me of that now?

"Yes." I mutter my happiness meter falling dangerously.

"Cool. Pity that I won't be there." Why is that?

"How come?" I mean she likes Balls how come she won't go?

"Well, first of all I've got nothing to wear. Second of all even if I do find something decent I will still look like a troll on a dress. And finally I'm sure noone will ask me to go with him." Oh! But that's not true! She doesn't look that bad! I know how I said she is totally ugly but I am pretty sure now I overreacted. She is not hideous. Maybe not impressive like others but she does possess some good spots. Like her eyes or her long thin legs.

As for the date-thing…ha! If only I could tell her about my dear cousin…

"Nonsense." I exclaim. "I can always lend you a dress and you'll look great. Plus boys are not so hard to find." She just stares at me dumbfounded. I really don't know where that came from. All I was planning to do was say 'sorry' and run. But now I feel this urge to help this poor girl out.

"I-I…you think so?" She timidly asks .

"I am not one of those people who tell lies to make one feel better you should know that." I point out truthfully.

"Ok , then. But will you come too?" No. No. No. Absolutely not!

"Please Rose!" She's doing the pouting and the puppy eyes. No. No . No.

"Oh, ok, ok. I will" I sigh defeated. What did I get myself into this time?

"Good morn-…" My cousin Al has just entered the scene still on his school uniform and holding some parchments with notes. Probably for Goye.

"Hi Al!" She greets his happily but my cousin's eyes are set on me.

"Hello Al." I say smiling. He smiles too and he looks at me proudly. That I did not expect.

"So I brought you Charms' and Potions' notes but History Of Magic I just couldn't stay awake . Sorry." He blushes terribly and stares at his shoes.

"That is great thank you _so_ much!" Nelia (yeah, I thought I should start calling her by her first name .) takes the notes carefully like they are made of gold and leaves them next to the notes she was previously taking.

"So…have you heard of the Ball next week?" Al tries to start a conversation. Or maybe he has something more than that in his mind.

"Yes, unfortunately." I mutter.

"Isn't it cool?" Nelia exclaims and I frown at her. She sends a dismissive gesture my way. I have to say one thing, all this girl needs is a little push. But if you have her started she just won't stop.

"It is great actually. I can't wait. You're coming right?" Asks my cousin.

"I can't wait either. Yes I am coming you?" She replies her eyes shining.

"Sure." I laugh a bit a their enthusiasm. Like kids during Christmas they are. Too bad that I don't like Balls.

"Do you have a date?" Nelia asks and suddenly widens her eyes shocked at what her mouth has just uttered. But he doesn't seem to notice.

"No. Not yet. And you? Are you going with James?" Ohohoho. I just remembered what Malfoy has told me some days before. Apparently he has lied trying to 'protect' Al from her, saying that Nelia fancies James. The fool. That must be the weirdest couple ever imagined!

"What? James? As in your brother?" She asks surprised and I chuckle as I see Al's eyes darken and a blush creeping up his face.

"Yeah." He whispers grimly.

"That must be the weirdest thing I have ever heard." She observes smiling at him. I think I begin to like her.

"Tell me about it. So are you going together?" He can be so slow some times.

"No. I mean James dates only cute girls." Nelia explains looking down at her sheets.

"So?" Oh, how sweet! Al finds her cute! If I wasn't so cynic I might have found it nice.

"So he would never ask me." She says playfully. My black-haired cousin shots her a you-are-not-serious look.

"Are you crazy?" He mouths after he gets over the initial shock.

"Nope." Hehehe. I do like this girl.

"Oh, never mind that. So you still haven't got a date ?" A hopeful light appears in his eyes and I suddenly feel unwanted.

"No, and by the looks of it I bet I'm going with Rose here." He laughs at me and I shake my head defeated. Those people are so oblivious. I mean can't they see they are both in love?

"Wha- why? Don't you want a date?" Oh, Merlin , if this keeps on for much longer I think I will shoot myself. I mean, come on!

"I-I do but…" She blushes. And I've had enough.

"Al! Do you have a date?" I snap at him authoritatively.

"No." He replies immediately.

"Nelia do you?" Nelia Goyle stares at me for a moment , because obviously I have never called her by her first name out loud before and then she shakes her head.

"Good then you're going together. And that is not a request." Not that I expected anyone to protest but just for the effect.

I see two seventeen year olds blushing from tip to bottom and I chuckle inwards. I think my job in done here.

"Erm… do you mind Nelia?" Al asks and it takes me a moment to make out exactly what he has just said.

"Me? No! You?" Nelia answers shocked at the question, because she still thinks she looks like a troll in a dress.

"Of course not! Ok, I'll be seeing you girls." I watch as my cousin storms off the infirmary still red as a tomato.

"You have to help me Rose." Nelia says desperately.

"I just did. Didn't I?" I shove her in the arm and I see her beaming like I suppose my cousin is too at the moment.

oOo

"I've heard you worked your magic." A voice speaks to me as I return to the Gryffindor Tower.

Malfoy.

Yet his name does not sound so bad anymore. Hmm.

"And I've heard you were mad at me." I counter seriously. He nods to himself.

"I was." He admits .

"And now?" I add expectantly. Could I…? Dare I hope he isn't angry anymore?

"I'm over it. So you hate me . So what? That doesn't mean I cannot talk to you." No it doesn't! Good. But…do I really hate him? I mean we don't really hope for a person we hate to forgive us do we? Yeah…I didn't think so either.

"Ok, then." I want to smile. I think of smiling. But then I think I'd rather not.

"Good." He mutters a little disappointed.

"Agreed." I continue a bit disappointed too.

"So are you going to the Ball?" I ask after we have walked together for a little while.

"Which Ball? The we-just-needed-a-reason-to-dance-and-snog ball?" He smirks.

"At last! Someone who hates it too!" I shout . And I was beginning to think that I was the only one.

"Are you kidding me? Al's making me go, cause he needs support with Goyle and I just couldn't leave him alone." Poor guy.

Hey! Did I just call Malfoy poor? Ok, Rose contain yourself!

"And Nelia is making _me_ go!" I explain sadly.

"You should. They're gonna need all the help they can get." I nod thoughtfully playing in my head the scene from the infirmary.

"Absolutely." I agree.

"Al was so thrilled. He was practically beaming." Beaming huh?

"So was Nelia. She's not that bad you know." I comment.

"I knew that. _You _didn't. Remember?" Remember? _Remember?_ I see his face darken a tad and I blush. Remembrance is not really my thing now is it?

Of course this has nothing to do with remembering I disliked Nelia. No. This is about another incident I made myself forget.

"Yes, I remember. I remember it _all_ now." I stress 'all' hoping he will get my point without me having to make a second apology in one day.

He _does_ get it. Thankfully. And he smiles playfully at me after nodding.

"I hate this whole Ball deal." He changes the subject quickly.

"Me too. However everyone else seems to be just so worked up about it. It's making me sick." I confess. I just found someone to whine at. Let's just exploit it for as long as it lasts.

"I know. And it's not only a girl thing. Almost every guy out there is going on about who they asked or who they'll ask. I've got a headache already and the Ball is next week." I chuckle. I can imagine that.

"Well, they all expect it to be marvelous." I consider out loud. Malfoy turns and casts me a peculiar look.

"That's plain stupid. I don't see why a Ball just _has_ to be interesting." Yeah, me neither.

"There's this rumor you know that cool things happen in Balls that's why. I guess Cinderella's to blame for that." I laugh a bit but he doesn't seem to share my sentiments.

"Cinde- what?" He asks and he looks like a little kid that has just found out what a Horcrux is. Confused and scared. I chuckle even more.

"It's a muggle fairytale, don't freak out." I clear up. His mouth forms an 'O' and I think I'm gonna die from a laughing seizure. He crosses his arms, which makes him look even more child-like and …well…cute.

"If you just explained what it is all about maybe I wouldn't." I stop laughing at once and stare at him. I had never thought Malfoy , with his pure blood and his muggle-hating grandfather would be interested in muggle culture.

Then again he's not a saint for nothing.

"Oh! Ok then. You see it's quite silly. There's this girl, Cinderella , who's a servant in her evil stepmother's house . And there's this prince who's having a Ball at his palace to find a bride. And every girl is invited but Cinderella's stepmother forbids her to go." I feel particularly weird for telling a fairytale at a seventeen year old guy but he seems immensely interested.

"_Evil_ stepmother. Yeah, I get it. Go on." I nod.

"However after her stepmother and stepsisters are gone, the girl's fairy godmother appears. She is a witch –and no this is not expected because it is a _muggle_ story- and she charms Cinderella's clothes into a beautiful dress." I stop to take a breath

"But before she leaves she tells Cinderella that the spell will last only till midnight. After that she'll be her old, servant self." Malfoy's eye are practically popping out of their sockets. Just like Hugo's did when mum first told him this story. Yet Hugo was four whereas Malfoy is almost an adult.

"And…?" He encourages.

"So, she goes to the Ball and dances with the prince. He falls for her and she falls for him but then the clock strikes twelve." I make a pause just for the suspense.

"And the girl runs away, living nothing behind her but a glass slipper. The prince who is head over heels for her starts visiting all the houses of his kingdom, asking all young women to try the glass slipper ." I pause inhale, exhale and that all I have time for since he is poking me to continue.

"Till he reaches hers. But she's a servant so her stepmother says she shouldn't try it on. Well, the prince insist and after that you know…They lived happily ever after." The end!

A goofy smile appears on his face and suddenly I am very aware of how much he has changed his attitude towards me. Or how much I have changed my attitude towards him. Some weeks ago I would have sworn to anyone that Malfoy's face is just incapable of producing something other than a smirk, but now…

"That is in fact a great story!" He exclaims after all.

"It is a childrens' story." I point out.

"Well, so was the Pavarell Brother's story and we all know how that came out to be." He ventures a thought. Which is let me tell you strangely clever.

"You're trying to say that the Cinderella story is in fact real?" I ask shooting him a look.

"Not that it is _not_ possible, but what I in fact wanted to say is that all stories bear some truth in them." Wow! A clever comment again.

"And what truth do you in fact see in the Cinderella story?" He smiles absentmindedly.

"I dunno. Yet!" Yet?

"Very well then I'll be waiting for your explanation." I smirk, he laughs.

"Deal." He makes a ridiculous bow and leaves me in front of the Fat Lady, wondering how on earth I got there so fast.

Two conversations in one week. That must be a new record for Malfoy and I.

This is bound to be bad.

But then again, like Air says, I should stop running away.

And of course I have this new found tendency to listen to him.

Cause I'm in love with him, you know…

So, Mr Malfoy, let's see,

What truth is there is Cinderella?

A/N: I am so gonna fail maths for this chapter!

But never mind

I hope you liked it.

I know I did

So farewell

And wish me luck for my exams and Review!!!

Kisses

Sarah


	7. Chapter 7

A/N: Ok, thanks so so much for the reviews .

I really loved them

And you…of course!

So we are slowly but steadily reaching the end of this story

What I mean is that there are two or three chapters left…maybe four we'll see

So don't hesitate to review!

I own nothing of it

Harry Potter is all J. K. R.'s

Enjoy!

Chapter 7:

I cannot believe what I am doing at the moment. And I bet neither can you.

I mean everyone who knows me, and when I say knows me I mean really knows me, as in the heartless me, would be totally gaping at me now.

Cause dear, people, I , Rose Weasley am right at this very moment picking out a dress for a Ball. Not for me of course.

There is still some dignity left in me you know…

The dress is for Nelia Goyle. My new friend. Yes, yes you heard right. I said friend.

So what if I said I don't make friends? What if I said love doesn't exist? What if I said Malfoy is a messed-up bastard?

Reality has once more managed to prove me wrong.

Cause, Nelia since last week really feels like a friend. And I still stay awake at night thinking of that kiss I shared with Air.

Not to mention that by now the whole Slytherin knows about Cinderella, cause apparently Malfoy cannot keep his mouth shut about it. He keeps saying they will all see it. The truth in Cinderella.

So, yeah…

Speaking about changes.

But change is not always bad is it? Air, says that I became heartless because it made things easier , so what does it matter if I turn back nice cause at the moment that is the best?

I know, I know, people don't switch attitudes like that. And somehow it doesn't feel like I'm being nice because it makes stuff easier. Somehow it feels right to be good again.

I give up. I am confused.

"Rose, I can't possibly wear that dress." Oh, right. Nelia. In case you were wondering. We are at the moment searching my closet for a dress.

My initial idea was of course buying one for her but apparently her family is not so well off. That's why she's been wearing her father's uniform and still carries his books.

You see I have found a lot about Nelia during this last week.

She's been living with her dad for the past twelve years cause her mother left them when Nelia was still five and this is _totally_ taking its toll on her.

She never had a female opinion. Or a female piece of clothing for that matter. Nobody spoke to her about make-up and how babies come to be. It is sad actually.

So I decided to help her out. So I am giving her a hand with school work she has missed. Turns out all I have to do is read things out loud and she's got no problem understanding.

Also, I am letting her borrow one of my dresses for tonight's Ball. Which is proving to be rather time consuming for me. That girl really thinks she is hideous. As a result she refuses to put anything on that doesn't look just like a bathing-robe.

And she's getting on my nerves.

"Nelia, I swear if you continue acting that way I'm gonna hex you again and this time I won't regret it. I see her blush a little.

"I'm sorry. You're right. I'm acting all nuts. But you see this is not for me. People like me are not supposed to go to Balls. Especially with _the_ Albus Potter." I sigh. Believe it or not Nelia is one those people who instead of gaining confidence as time passes they lose the one they already had.

"Oh, just drop it. Al is not a god or something. He's rather stupid actually. And since when is there a rule as to who attends Balls." I put my hands on hips. I didn't know only cool, pretty, happy, committed people are accepted in dances.

"I-I…" See? One again my cleverness leaves everyone speechless.

"So try it on!" I command. She stares at me for a minute and then nods.

After a while I see a beautiful almost stunning girl ('almost' cause you know I'm a girl) coming out of the bathroom where five minutes ago my new friend Nelia got in to dress up.

I gape at her evidently. Who would have thought that this shabby-looking, clumsy girl would clean up _that_ nicely in a dress? Well, surely not me. Though, don't get me wrong, I already knew she was much prettier than she let on.

But in a sky blue, long, strapless dress she can only be described as fabulous. I smile at her a bright smile, like one of those I recently found out I had in my list of smiles, and nod.

"It is awesome." I comment after taking one more look at her. She ventures a look at the mirror and gasps.

"I _do_ look nice!" She admits, thankfully.

"Yes, you do." I agree. "But now we need to do something with this mess of a hair you've got." I take out my wand and take a deep breath.

It takes me a whole hour but I do manage to disentangle her hair and make them look neat and silky lying on her shoulders. Then I step back and take in the results. I really do wonders.

Finally I make up my mind. This dress ought to be worn with a bun. A low messy bun. With some bits popping out in disarray from it and two curls falling on her forehead. Marvelous.

After that I proceed to her face. She has very nice characteristic, though maybe not so special, but they sure give her a kind and sweet air. I use some black eyeliner and mascara. A tad silver eye shadow that makes her dark brown eyes look strangely elegant and some lip-gloss.

I've created a miracle!

Nelia moves her eyes back and forth between me and the mirror in shock.

"I look like a princess!" She finally mouths speechless. Princess? Oh, come on…I would have been just fine without this little romantic comment on my back…

"You look like Nelia." I clear out, denying falling into the princess-trap.

"Thank you _so_ much Rose! I think that maybe now I won't make a total fool of myself." And just like that the I-am-hideous Nelia is back on the track! So much for making her look gorgeous.

"Nelia! Cut it out. Al will probably feel like the luckiest person on earth for having you as his date." She looks a little sad at that.

"Rose…I think I should free him from that obligation." She whispers. _Obligation?!_ The guy has been wishing for a date like this since forever.

"I mean, I heard Peter Anders saying Al probably lost some bet with a total pervert to end up with me. And those are his words!" I narrow my eyes. That guy's a total jerk. I once considered him for a heartless but even then I found him too mean.

"Anders is a prat and Al was just thrilled to take you to the Ball." She raises a hopeful eye at me.

"Really?" Yeah!

"Oh, crap!" I suddenly exclaim. "We're _so_ late." Nelia mimics my worried expression only ten times more vividly.

"Al will be waiting!" Then a new thought seems to pop up in her head and she turns to look at me.

"Rose! _You_ didn't get dressed up." Oh! Right. Well, so what?

"Then I should probably stay here." I suggest hopefully.

"No! No way! You have to come. I promised I'll meet him there and there's no chance I'm going there alone." I don't really blame her you know. Facing the monsters on her own.

"Just give me a second." I mutter and rush to my trunk. A moment later I dig out of it an emerald green short halter dress with black patterns and a pair of black plain sandals. Now I know what you're thinking.

You can't go like that in the Ball.

Well, to that I have only one thing to say.

Yes, people. Yes, I can. Ha!

I've already told you, I don't give a shit about this thing. I'm just going there for support.

I put on some black eyeliner and a bit of lip gloss and I sort out my hair. I leave them down, curly as usual. I don't have time for this.

"Ready!" I say and start doing a happy dance. But I don't get to finish it cause Nelia, here, grabs my wrist and drags me to the Great Hall.

oOo

Hmm…

The Great Hall does look better like that. Clear summer night's sky, full of falling stars and some blue-silver ribbons on the windows and walls. All in all a nice presentation. The tables are removed to give space for the dancers to prove themselves worthy of the occasion. Merlin!

I look around for Al and realize that Nelia is doing the same.

Yet what I hear makes me forget about Al at once.

If at the moment I had _one_ galleon for every guy who's checking out Nelia, I'd be a millionaire.

I hear whispers like 'Who's the hot brunette?' and 'Is _that_ Nelia Goyle?' or even worst 'Hello gorgeous!'. Poor Al will have to fight hard for her after all.

"Rose, I think they're making fun of me." She mumbles from next to me. I sigh for the millionth time today.

"Are you alone tonight, sweetheart?" Sweetheart? Oh, come on! Couldn't he find a better pick-up line.

Nelia looks incredulously at the seventh-year who has just asked her to dance. However I spot Al a few meters away and push her towards him.

"She's taken." I mutter at the chest-nut haired guy who leaves disappointed.

Then I take one look at my new friend and cousin finally meeting.

I smile at myself as I hear a voice from behind me whispering.

"Good job, Miss 'fairy-godmother'." Malfoy.

Needless to say of course that once again my words lack their usual bitterness when I say his name.

"So…that is the truth in Cinderella huh?" I wonder out loud. He was right after all. I see it now.

Nelia, Albus…yes. Quite like Cinderella actually. Nelia is the little servant who's turned into a princess and Al is the prince…hehehe

"Ten points to Gryffindor." He jokes and I laugh. "I told you I would finally find it." Yes he did.

oOo

**Nelia's POV**

Ok, that was it.

He's gonna see me, freak out and run. Why did I listen to Rose? Everything would have been ok, had I stuck to the plan and stayed away from this Ball.

Oh, Merlin! Oh, Merlin!

"Ne- Nelia?" OH, MERLIN!

"Hi. Sorry for keeping you waiting." I whisper timidly.

I cast one eye at Al , who is at the moment trying to collect his jaw from the floor. He- is he…? Blushing? Nah… No way.

"It's- it's ok. Never mind that. You look…beautiful." He stammers and now it is my turn to blush. Remind me again how did I end up going to the Ball with _Albus_ Potter? The best guy in this place. The most handsome too.

Oh, right, his cousin made him.

"Thank you. You look great too." I try. Of course that was a silly comment cause he _always_ looks great.

"The question is how long I will keep looking that way. Cause you know every guy in this room is glaring daggers at me." I giggle a bit at this. His words make me tickle. Is that normal?

"Rose was right. You're such a cry-baby." He laughs and catches my hand gently. I feel something moving inside me. A euphoric sensation.

"Am not!" He pouts and I chuckle. Who would have thought that I would fee so comfortable around him?

"Ok, ok." I raise my hands up in the air defeated. He chuckles too.

However a second later he gets all serious again.

"Let's dance." He offers me his hand and I take it. Yes, it is as soft as I thought.

He catches my waist and pulls me to him. Close yet not close enough. I'm glad about it. I think I was gonna faint if he came one inch closer to me.

He appears to know what he is doing. We swift slowly on the dance floor and I rest my hands on his shoulders.

"I'm acting stupid." He announces looking down at me. Excuse me?! _He_ is acting stupid? And what am _I_ doing here?

"No!" I exclaim ridiculously.

"Yes." He insists and then looks away from me. "But you see I'm not used to accompanying such pretty, clever girls." He is making fun of me!

I cannot believe I trusted him. There is no way he is saying all those crap for real. I narrow my eyes at him and stop moving.

"You're making fun of me." I whisper. It hurts. It bloody aches. Why, oh why did I ever consider coming here?

Al is staring at me taken aback. Yeah, sure…

"I am not! How could you think…?" What? Oh, he just can't tell where to stop playing does he?

"No! How could _you_ think that I would believe you if you said all those things?" He tries to approach me but I shove him away with a force I never knew I had. "You think I can't tell when you're lying? I bloody own a mirror alright?" I can't take this pain anymore.

I turn my back at him and run away from the Great Hall. I feel more than see him following me and I pace up. Damn those heels.

I sneak out quickly hoping that he won't think of checking out side the castle. The cold wind hits my face and I feel tears rolling.

"Nelia!" So much for not finding me outside the castle. I won't acknowledge him. I won't , I won't.

"Nelia! I wasn't lying!" He shouts at me and in his voice I spot the same pain I recognized in mines. Could he…? Could it be that he is honest?

"What?" I ask trying to sound intimidating. He stops almost crushing on me.

"I wasn't lying when I said you look pretty and…" I see. Maybe indeed, I do look nice. Maybe he saw something nice in me now.

"Ok, so I look good tonight. Big deal! Everyone would look better with such a great dress and a perfect make-up. The point is…" I feel tears returning to my eyes but I make no motion to stop them.

"_The point is_ after tonight I will probably be looking like a troll again. So quit liking me before tomorrow comes and you regret it dearly." I take a big breath and he gasps.

"You seriously thought the only reason I like you is because you look incredible tonight? Wait- more than that did you actually thought I started liking you today?" Erm…what? What does that supposed to mean?

Al starts laughing.

"Merlin's pants Nelia, I've been in love with your disturbed antics since first-year." In- in love? With me?

"You might call yourself a troll but I always stopped and stared as you passed by me. And I never found one girl who has prettier eyes than you." Now it's my time to gasp. This cannot be! I must be dreaming!

"But-but you never said anything." Not one sign. Ok, fine he always treated me kindly and talked to me nicely helping me out with homework but…

Merlin, I am so stupid!

"Cause I thought you were into my brother." Into James?! Hahahaha. Ok, I'm laughing now.

"James? That's ridiculous." I exclaim still laughing. He blushes.

"Yeah…I guess it was. I dunno. The thing is…" He catches my waist like and pulls me closer. However this time there is no gape between us. I feel electrocuted.

"I'm nuts for you. I'm sorry if I offend you or something but I can't help it. And it's not because of the dress or the make-up." Then what is it about? I know I shouldn't protest , I mean I am only the luckiest person ever, but I wonder…

"Remember that fist we met back in first year? When everyone was looking shocked at me for getting shorted in Slytherin?" I nod. It must have been really hard for him. Hearing all those prats going on about him being 'not even close as smart and brave as his dad' or 'a shame to his Gryffindor family'. I for one thing never found it weird he got Slytherin. He was clever and nice but all about mischief, even back then you could tell. Plus he is such a cry-baby.

"Well, _you_ didn't laugh. _You _didn't judge me. You _never _did. You just came over and introduced yourself. Said it was a pleasure meeting me. Me as in Albus , not as in Harry Potter's son." I smile at him. I had no idea it mattered so much to him.

"Since then I knew I liked you. I knew you could really see me. Even if your hair was messed up and the uniform you had was ten times your size." I raise a hand to his face and touch his cheek. I have no idea when I got so bold about this. It's just like Rose says. I just need to get started.

He smiles at me and leans down. I feel him kissing me softly in the mouth and I gasp. It feels so nice. I move my hand from his face to his black hair and mess them a bit.

I sense him holding me in his hands and deepen the kiss. He is a really good kisser. That I must admit. Not that I am that much of an expert in those stuff but you can just tell.

I feel my bun loosening and he whispers in my ear. "I love you." I shiver and crush my lips on his. "Me too" I reply ranting.

Some twenty minutes pass before we get the chance to utter the next couple of words. The two of us being…somewhat busy.

"Did you seriously mean it?" Al asks finally still shocked like that.

"I did. I've been in love with you for Merlin knows how long." I confess and snuggle against him.

"And Scorp said you fancied James!" Scoprius lied? Why?

"Why?" I ask. Not that it really matters now, but I always thought Scorpius was an ok person…

"Something about protecting me from getting hurt." I smile. No, the blonde is still a nice guy, he's just stupid like his mate.

"He was just being, silly." I intervene refusing to let two friends fight over me.

"Silly?" I laugh at Al's frowning face.

"Yes, silly like you." I add playfully and he leans to kiss me once more.

"Am I silly?" He asks and I nod. It is rather hard to insult him –even if joking- after he has given me a kiss like that.

"What did you say?" He kisses me again more passionately this time.

"I said you're silly." I whisper helplessly.

"Oh! Really?" Oh, no, no, no. Please! I try to escape his kisses and his tickling but I fail. Damn him and his strength.

"I –will-not stop- until- agh- you take-that- back." Al says between chuckles and tickles that make us both end up on the ground.

"Ok, I take it back." I finally exclaim as he is lying on the lawn next to me, his arm still on my waist.

I turn and fall on top of him. "Merlin! I did not know you could be stupid like this." His eyes widen in surprise at my betrayal. My fake promise to stop teasing him.

"You will be the end of me Nelia." He laughs trying to kiss me as I try to tickle him.

Guess who wins in the end.

Him.

A/N: Ok so there wasn't much Scoprius/Rose in this one

However I just had to get Al and Nelia together didn't I?

So do you see now the truth in Cinderella?

In case you were wondering next chapter will be the Ball on Rose's POV so lots of Scoptius there

Tell me what you think!

Review!

Kisses

See ya soon

Sarah


	8. Chapter 8

A/N: Ok, this chapter is awfully delayed and I am sorry for that

But I guess that's what you get for writing many stories all at once even though you've got no free time

And yes people, it is bloody July and I have no free

You can go ahead and blame the educational system for that

However I will not stop if I don't finish this story

So I beg you …some patience

Sorry again,

Enjoy!

Chapter 8: Full Of Contradictions

Then I take one look at my new friend and cousin finally meeting.

I smile at myself as I hear a voice from behind me whispering.

"Good job, Miss 'fairy-godmother'." Malfoy.

"So…that is the truth in Cinderella huh?" I ask him still smiling. He was right. After all, I see it now.

"Ten points to Gryffindor." He jokes playfully. "I told you I would finally find it."

"Indeed you did." I smirk my 'not-even-close-as-nice-as-Malfoy's' smirk and look up at him.

I have to admit that once again he does look nice. He's on a black suit that would look plain on anyone but Malfoy. Because on him it looks perfect. Aristocratic but not too formal. Damn him and his good looks.

His hair are, just as always, messed up, but not like my cousin's. His is somehow neatly messed up. If there is such a thing as a neat mess…

"You're staring Weasley. But then again… I don't blame you." He sniggers and I narrow my eyes. However I am rather sure he is joking.

"And here, I thought you weren't into Balls." I comment . Quite cleverly may I add.

"I'm not. I just acknowledge the fact that since I came I'd better save myself from characterizations such as 'no style whatsoever' or 'I'd be ashamed to appear in public like that'." I chuckle. It's true, why deny it? People in general have this absurd tendency to judge. Everything and everyone. And unfortunately I would have to include myself in this rule.

"Well, you should get over it. Take my example." He looks down on me playfully.

"Your example?" He inquires and puts his hands in his trousers' pockets.

"Not caring about how you look. I mean I came here even though I look pitiful in this old summer dress." He starts laughing like I said some sort of joke and I raise an eyebrow.

Then noticing my reaction he suddenly gets all troubled.

"Oh! You were serious." Well…yeah!

"Obviously." I raise my hands in exasperation.

"It's just that…" Yes…

"You look…" Yeeees…

"Just…" Oh dear Merlin if it takes him so long to utter one sentence this is gonna be a long night. Silly me, thinking that Malfoy is smart like that…

"Are you planning on finishing the sentence any time soon?" I say a bit annoyed. Well, he has gotten on my nerves that boy. I look up at him only to come across another un-Malfoy reaction. He is blushing. Of course not the Weasley blush, that makes you resemble a tomato…no! His own very arrogant blush. Just a little on the pale cheeks. Hardly visible.

"You look just…fine!" He finishes and I feel somehow disappointed. Like I did when Air didn't comment on my looks the first time he saw my face.

"I doubt it but thanks anyway." He smirks at me knowingly. Like he can see disappointment all over my face. Damn him.

"So care to dance?" I ask trying to snap out of my own thoughts.

"Wha-? Oh yeah…sure." Malfoy nods and follows my to the dance floor.

There he catches my waist hesitantly and avoids coming too close. I must admit I didn't see that one coming. I mean Malfoy with his flirtatious character ought to be a little bolder in the whole dancing idea.

But then again I don't mind his cold feet at all. He can't make me enjoy dancing as much as Air does even if he wanted to. That's for sure.

"I'm not a good dancer really." He apologizes. Yes, I can see that.

"Me neither." I reply truthfully. He smiles. A weird smile. A really weird smile. Like he knows something I don't.

"Ok." However he doesn't doubt my words.

"So do you think it'll work?" I ask after a while. If we don't get to _really_ dance then at least we could talk.

"With Al and Nelia? Yes I'm sure it will. I mean could the prince _not_ get Cinderella?" I laugh against him. No. He could not.

"Good cause I'd hate to have them both tearing over a Ball gone bad." As we keep dancing I feel Malfoy loosening around me. Getting more relaxed. And by doing so his grip in my waists gets tighter. More stable and intense. I think it is the only time it takes one to relax in order to become more intense.

This saint is full of contradictions. Messy yet neat. Flirtatious yet hesitant. Relaxed yet intense.

"Don't all Balls go wrong?" He inquires truthfully.

"This one hasn't yet." I let slip. I know it sounds like no big deal, but to my 'Malfoy vocabulary' that must be revealing that I'm in fact having a good time. Which I do but I'd rather not let him know.

"The key word being 'yet'." I add and he smiles sad.

"Do you _want_ it to go wrong?" He proceeds to ask.

"I kinda do actually. I mean a good Ball will probably ruin my bad opinion in Balls generally." He stops dancing suddenly…What a pity and I was beginning to enjoy the dancing part…

"Then I will be happy to oblige." Hey! What does that mean? He will oblige? Meaning he will ruin it for me?

But before I manage to proceed with my questioning his words I see him leaning slowly towards my face.

Then I feel his lips on mine. I close my eyes. Now whether it is from the impact or for the sake of the occasion I can't really tell, cause he's kissing me. Malfoy is kissing me!

I mean…what the hell?

And it doesn't feel bad either. Truth be told it feels great. My body shivers a bit and I feel something moving in my stomach as his lips move skillfully yet scared on mines.

Skillful yet scared. Isn't that another contradiction?

But suddenly and while I kiss him back Air's image comes to mind. My falling in love with him raising a wall between me and the blonde Slytherin.

So even though I do like the way it feels to kiss him I step back.

I decided to follow Air's advice and stop being so heartless.

Making out with Malfoy even though I don't see him like that is probably considered heartless so…

"I-I'm sorry…" I mumble and blush. His face is unreadable. His eyes are dark alright but a faint smile is plastered on his mouth.

"Nothing to be sorry about." He breaths but for some strange reason I doubt it.

"It's not like you're bad or anything. I mean half the school girls are after you. You don't need me to tell you, you are cool, but I-… I think I'm in love with someone." There I said it. Phew.

"What?" Now his expression is surely grim.

"But I thought you were heartless." He thought…But how does he know…? I must have let it slip…

"Key word being 'were'." I clear up.

"Oh!" Is all he says. Then smiles the fakest smile I have ever seen in a man.

"That's good." And I have seen many fake smiles on men…

"Yeah, well we'll see." I say half-heartedly. He only nods. Silence falling heavy on us both.

"I'd rather go." I know this is officially considered jerking out of a situation which you created but I have no other choice. I can't face Malfoy right now.

So I don't even wait for a confirmation. I just flee away from him.

I run back to the Gryffindor Common room. Back to my dorm and let myself drop on the bed heavily.

I don't understand why it messed me up so much, this kiss with Malfoy. A kiss means nothing really. I've done things much more serious with guys I didn't even like.

My mind goes back to Malfoy's kiss and I finally see what was it that drives me crazy about it.

It was just as good as the kiss with Air. Annoyingly equal.

But I'm in love with Air! How can a simple kiss change that?

No. My sentiments can't change. Air is so much better than Malfoy. He's kind and caring but playfully and witty and mischievous all the same.

And Malfoy is just Malfoy. I mean the guy was my enemy till lately, how can he compare to Air?

And though I really honestly have fallen for Air. Though I know what I want. Though Air is so much more to me than the blonde guy I kissed some time before…I still feel strangely incapable to let go of that kiss. My mind keeps going back there.

So after countless –failed- attempts to fall asleep I make a deal with myself.

I'm going to think of Malfoy as if I felt something for him.

Just for tonight I will enjoy the memory of this kiss as if I was in love with him.

And surely till tomorrow this memory will be gone.

Cause I really, honestly love Air.

So what if tonight I let the image of a certain blonde run loose in my mind?

What if, just for this night, I let this guy whose full of contradictions kiss me goodnight?

A/N: So….what do you think????

Please tell me

Press that little button and review!

I love ya all

And I too kiss you goodnight (in the most friendly manor of course!)

Sarah


	9. Chapter 9

A/N: Ok, first off, thank you so so so much for reading and reviewing.

Also I'm sorry if it took a bit longer to update

I really try!

We're slowly coming to an end

Which means…

A lot of action!

Enjoy! (And review?)

**Chapter 9****: Lies**

'Air is so much better. He is so much smarter and nicer and kinder and funny than Malfoy.' Breathe Rose breathe…

'Air is so much more important than the blonde saint.' I keep repeating to myself with a strange persistence for the past week.

Because to my great surprise, annoyance and _fear_ it takes a huge amount of willpower to stop thinking of that unfortunate kiss in the Ball.

And I am scared out of my mind cause it was not supposed to be this way. I was supposed to be in love with Air and hate Malfoy. That was the plan. That's how I arranged things.

Ok, truth be told the initial plan was to be heartless for the rest of eternity. But that one didn't work out that well for me so I passed to plan B. And now plan B is proving out to be insufficient too. This is unbelievable!

And you know I would have accepted loving Malfoy instead of Air, I would have, I mean I know love works in mysterious ways. But liking them both? Well, that goes a little bit over board don't you think?

I'm starting to think this is some sort of revenge from Merlin. Making me love two different people because I discarded love for so long.

To which I have to say: 'Ok, Merlin, I repent… now give it a _bloody_ rest!' I sigh audibly. How is it that I always start thinking about my life in Potions, I wonder. The lesson is about to start and I am sitting peacefully in my seat in the second raw deep in thought when a crushing sound comes to disturb my already remarkably disturbed antics.

Next to me lands Nelia Goyle, a stupid lovesick smile plastered all over her face. And should I point out that she looks significantly neat and pretty and gloating today with my old uniform and my hair-style advice?

Plus there's this little thing called love and this stupid guy called Albus Potter that have made it their personal task to keep her happy and gloating. And they are facing complete success if you ask me.

"Rose , I need a huge favor." I look up to observe her more closely. She is almost jumping with suppressed happiness, which makes no sense let me just say cause this happiness appears to be anything but suppressed.

"Mate, I have a request." I hear an equally happy voice, only a little more, erm…male, from behind me and turning back I find my cousin looking with pleading eyes at Malfoy.

I swift back forward quickly trying my best not to look at the blonde. However my reflexes fail me. Before I manage to give Nelia my full attention I get a glimpse of his grey eyes that have a sad _air_ about them , _Air?_ Damn…

"Yes…?" I slowly reply to my new friend and she claps her hands like a five year old.

"Spill." Malfoy groans audibly behind me.

"Al and I …" Nelia begins.

"Nelia and I…" Al tries behind me.

"We hoped we could sit together in Potions." They finally say in one voice. Oh! Ok, that is ok by me. Yet Malfoy doesn't seem at all satisfied with it. Not that I was looking at him…No!

"Ye-…" I start but am suddenly interrupted midsentence.

"No, way Al. You've been sitting with her in almost every lesson you've got together _and_ spend all evenings with her." What the hell? Is Malfoy acting jealous here?

"Don't you tell me you're jealous Scorp…I mean we do play Quidditch together and hang out after curfew. Not to mention that Nelia and I always ask you to come with as in the evenings but you keep refusing giving me some lame excuse…" The blonde is avoiding my cousin? Well, that's plain crazy. They have been friends since first year, what could have happened to cause this?

"Whatever. The point is there is no way I will accept you sitting with Nelia while I go sit with Weasley." Damn! I hadn't thought about that little detail. Nelia cannot sit with my cousin cause that would obviously mean…

And I could _never_ sit with Malfoy. Not after what happened in the Ball.

"Nelia sorry but I cannot do that." I say politely but clearly. Ok, I know I am disappointing her but it's no big deal for her if she spends an hour away from her sweetheart. On the other hand it would surely cause me a great distress to pass an hour next to the guy I kissed and then abandoned.

And I'm not even putting forward the fact that I keep thinking of him in the wrong way. The _really_ wrong way.

So NO, if you get me , I cannot do THAT!

"No." Malfoy announces to Al who keeps begging him and somehow it feels like he is finishing my sentence for me.

"Oh, come on!" Both my cousin and his girlfriend whine together.

"I said no!" Both I and Malfoy shout at them. Then for a split second we stare at each other. Then away _from_ each other.

"Oh, come off it guys." Al targeting both of us this time. 'Us' being me and Malfoy.

"Off what?" The blonde Slytherin dares his friend.

"You know very well what." My black-haired cousin dares back.

"No, I bloody well don't." Malfoy is now standing up and I feel tension in the air. _Air? _Crap…

"Well, fine then , you asked for it." Al narrows his eye ready to do what I feared he would. However his friend seems oblivious to my cousin's plans.

"First of all, Rose…" Al looks at me and I gulp embracing my fate. Which by the looks of it will be rather dim.

"…You have in the past snogged half the male population of this school and many more older guys so don't act like a thirteen-year old who got kissed for the first time." Aha! Tell me please how come my dearest cousin is a total idiot about his own life but when it comes to other people's he knows all about it huh?

"And you, mate…" Now it's Malfoy's turn to face the beast that'.

"…_You_ are the one who kissed her. You choose to mess up. So if there is this awesome awkwardness now it's all _your _fault. In other words _I _get to sit with Nelia because _I_ messed up nothing and _you_ get to spend an hour with I-kissed-you-back-but-now-I-wish-I-hadn't-so-I-ignore-you Rose. Got it?" Have you ever felt this thing when you're naked in public? All frustrated and ashamed? Well, Al's straight-forward comments have the exact same effect on me.

The blonde says nothing and appears to be in such a state of mind that it's not likely that he'll speak for some time.

And indeed he doesn't.

He stands up and sits next to me. Speechless.

And just sits there, stirring his potion occasionally. Still speechless.

Then Slughorn gives us new assignments. Speechless as ever.

And we get up to leave_. Speechlessly_.

Agh…

This sucks.

Not only because Malfoy looks like a bloody vampire in a sunny day, but also , due to the fact that I, too sense this crappiness that comes out of uncertainty.

I have to make a decision.

Take a step.

A step away from the blonde in fact.

oOo

'Flash'. Midnight.

I once said I didn't really notice I was heartless until I ignored my friend's crying. Meaning, I didn't realize the change in me until I did something so _uncharacteristic_ of myself that I just had to accept I was different.

So, now, likewise, I hadn't realized I was being a sentimental little kid until I entered 'Flash' with a fast beating heart and trembling hands.

No, obviously I am no longer heartless . A Heartless would never make friends. It would never fall in love. It would never feel guilt as deep as mines for hurting someone it once hated.

All in all a Heartless would never do what I am about to do.

"Hi." I greet Air in a determined tone. He looks tired and worried but as soon as he sees me he somehow relaxes. And that's a good sigh right?

"Nice to see you. It's been a while." He says in an emotion-drained voice.

"Yes, it has." I take a deep breath. It's now or never. Or so they say. "I've been thinking." A lot. He eyes me curiously.

"I believe I'm in love with you." Here it goes. He looks at me unbelieving. Good.

"What?!" Now he is surprised.

"I said-…" And just as I thought , then comes fear.

"Yeah!" He exclaims. "I heard you." Then he breathes heavily.

"Seriously?" He inquires after a long, long, _very_ long silence.

"I-I…" Suddenly my courage abandons me. "Yes, I'm afraid so." I whisper against him.

Air now looks positively terrified. And surprised. And angry.

"But, but…why?" 'Why?' Is he kidding me?

"You are the only person I've been talking with for the past two moths. You hang out with me, talked to me, advised me, and helped me like no other. How could I _not_ fall in love with you?" I conclude, hoping he too will face the fact that he loves me. Cause he does. There's no question about that. No one can kiss a person like that and not feel something.

"Nonsense. There are people in your life, I know there are, your family and friends that care about you. People you can talk to that can really help. I am not one of them." I feel a strange pain in my stomach. Like I'm about to be sick.

"Are you meaning to say you don't care for me?" I ask in a non-believing tone. Now, listen here, I am not that stupid. When you spend two bloody moths talking to someone like Air has been talking to me, there's no way you don't care.

"No-No! I _do_ care. But I cannot help you." That idiot! He's shaking and looks furious.

"Who said you need to do more than what you have already done? All I need is some honesty." I shout at him and he snorts. His hands are crossed by now to conceal his panting chest.

"Honesty? And what makes you believe I have been honest with you?" I-I-…he is right. I don't know what made me say this. Air hasn't even told me his real name. He hasn't even showed me his face. How could I ever assume he was honest?

"Fine, you're right. Maybe you haven't been honest with me about yourself but you have been honest about your opinions and ideas." He leans towards me for a moment, inspecting me closely. Checking for signs of untruthfulness . Nothing.

And yet, surprisingly he snorts. An ironic smirk gracing, or rather ruining, his handsome mouth.

"So just for my honest ideas , are you willing to tolerate lie?" I open my eyes wide at his question.

"What do you mean?" He scoffs and looks away from me. Like he wants to deny my presence here. Or maybe what my presence here is causing him to feel.

"I mean that I will never tell you the truth about me. I guess you could count on my honest ideas …" He spits the last word like it's a curse . "…but not in me. Don't count in me." I just stare at him dumbfounded.

"And I repeat my question." He says in a strict serious voice.

"All I can give you are my honest opinions. The rest will be lies. Are you ready to tolerate this just to be with me?" I gulp. It does sound too hard. Too difficult. But love is supposed to be that way.

I take a small step towards him and look up straight in his grey eyes.

"I am. Because no matter what you say I know, that , you feel something about me too. So what if you lie?" Air catches my face and I smell this characteristic smell that is only his. But before I let myself drown in it he steps back. Terror returning in his gaze.

"I will never understand you Myra." He whispers defeated and hurt.

"You were given something _real_, something you could touch and feel and enjoy in its fullest and yet you choose this. The lie." He sighs and I look at him questioningly. What is that supposed to mean?

"I will never understand you." He trails off and suddenly I sense the same pain that's been torturing him.

My stomach is tied in a knot . My whole body is trembling. I shiver like I've got fever and my head hurts from over-use .

"I see. Sorry if I have annoyed you with my foolishness. Goodbye Air." And this is forever. The end.

Not my choice. His.

But I have to accept it. So this is the end.

I run away from his, bumping into someone familiar. But I ignore him.

I keep running till I reach the path to Hogwarts.

Tonight I'd rather walk back. I am incapable of disapparating. And just as I walk in misery shouting voices wake me up.

"Hey, mate stay out of my way." A male voice speaks from somewhere behind the trees that surround the path.

"Sorry, mate but I saw you following that girl, and in this late hour, I could not help but wonder, do you ant something specific to tell her?" The second voice spoke in an icy slightly ironic tone. Malfoy?

Could it be…? No.

Rose, don't be stupid. Malfoy is at the moment in his dorm fast asleep next to Al. There no way he is out here…

"Well, it is none of your business but this girl happens to be my girlfriend and I just wanted to talk to her about something urgent." Hey! Are they talking about me? Was this guy following me? Hell!

"Owl her!" The other guy who still reminds me of Malfoy says. I try to concentrate on the sound they are making to find them. It very hard though. Whilst the air is whistling in my ears liker this.

"Oh, just fuck-off mate!" I hear the signal sound of wands being pulled out and I pace up.

"I will not do such a thing." The guy who appears to be protecting me hisses.

"No one stands between Devon Cart and his entertainment do you hear me?" Dev? Damn. How did he find me again? And _entertainment?_ I believe he has forgotten that our last encounter was not at all entertaining for him.

"Shut you bloody mouth." The other person shouts and I finally manage to distinguish their location.

"Stupefy!" Dev screams out-raged and I start running.

"Ennervate!" My protector fights back. Wow! Good thinking it must be an excellent wizard for producing an Ennervato so fast.

"Expelliarmus!" The unknown man replies with force and I see Dev's wand flying away and landing in the other man's fist. But I haven't still reached them.

"Just go back." The guy with the two wands says and throws the stick back at Dev who's at the moment on the ground. Ok, this is bound to be a bad move. You see Dev has never been a fair player.

"Watch it!" I scream at the guy. However he doesn't react fast enough. He turns at my way instead of his opponents and thus gets hit by a very powerful spell.

"Flipendo!" Dev hisses but I am too shocked to see anything really. Because the guy who has been guarding my back with such ferocity is no other than Air.

With scared eyes I watch as he flies a few meters off the ground till he topples violently onto the ground. Yet before the impact a white light comes out of Air's wand-a signal of some kind.

And with this sound 'thud' he collapses. A sound as empty as my insides feel.

"Protego!" Is the first thing I say. Then with a murdering look I make Dev freeze to the spot.

"Don't you ever come near me again." I say clearly and menacingly.

"Ro-Rose…" He mumbles and just as the protecting spell falls I start recalling all the curses I know. Out loud! On him.

And indeed he disapparates, heavily injured, and never comes back.

"Air! Oh, sweet Merlin! Can you hear me?" I shake his shoulders unable to keep my tears from falling any longer.

"Air! Please, please talk to me." I start searching his body for injuries but I fear they are inner.

"What have I done?" Oh, dear… he is hurt now, because of me…

"Help! I need help." I suddenly exclaim. And while I stand up trying to move him, I hear steps, behind me.

"What the bloody hell happened Rose?!" A very familiar voice says and I turn only to confirm my suspicions.

"Al?"

Then my eyes return to the unconscious body I am holding. I thought it was the end for me and Air. Yet I now find out that I might have been mistaken.

What have you been lying about after all Air?

A/N: Yep, finally it's done

Hope you liked it

Next one will be soon coming

I promise!!!

Review dear friends

I would never go as far as bribing you to do so

This is just a request

Yet I wish you'll consider it

Kisses and Apologies for the delay,

Sarah


	10. Chapter 10

A/N: Well, this is a way too fast update if you ask me

But I , like you, hate anticipation

So here it goes

The big revelation, which you all had predicted

Yet, I must admit it was not my plan to keep you in the dark about it

I think that by knowing the truth the story becomes more enjoyable

You get to see all the change in the mood and why they are cause

But enough with the blabbering

Thank you sooooo much for reviewing

Keep doing so

Enjoy!

**Chapter 10: Truth**

'All I can give you is my honest opinions.' He had confessed.

'The rest will be lies.' The guy who's lying now injured in my arms had said.

And only now do I begin to realize what a big part in his life all those lies played. Now that I watch my cousin healing him without asking any questions. Without doubting anything. Without looking at me straight in the eyes.

"Is he ok?" I ask after a while as I see my black-haired cousin stepping backwards. He nods hesitantly. Why isn't he shocked? Why doesn't he ask me who the guy is? Why doesn't he freak out? Oh, just forget it.

There is nothing more I want from him.

Not at the moment.

Now all I need is Air to wake up and explain himself once and for all.

And so he does, slowly coming to, hesitantly opening his eyes.

He looks at me questioningly for a moment and then, realization dawning on him, he looks away. Like he always does when trying to conceal something. But, I've had enough of this lying.

With a trembling hand I touch his face gently and ignoring his pleading eyes I remove the black mask.

Then I stand up quickly, taking a few drunken steps back. Like I just touched a burning metal.

"WHAT THE BLOODY HELL?!" I yell for the whole forest to hear. This is a joke. Right? _Right?_

_He _cannot possibly be Air!

Life could not be playing such a tricky game to me. No. It couldn't.

Somebody just …stop this!

"Rosie, just…" Why is Al interfering now?

"Shut up Al." I scream maddened and surprised and…disgusted.

"You!" I hiss and he looks up at me with blank grey eyes.

"Are you freaking mad?" He proceeds to stare at me. Which let me just say makes me even crazier.

"No." He replies in a calm and collected voice. What a bastard!

"Is this your idea of fun? Spying and tricking and embarrassing me?" Our gazes don't separate.

"No." The words coming out of his mouth in a sickening drawl. Like he's bored or something.

"Then do you claim you didn't know who I was?" I suggest hopelessly.

"No." He answers and this feels like an interrogation where the accused has already confessed. So pointless.

"Should I bother to ask why?" I ask defeated. He still ignores me. I mean he does reply but with such apathy that it feels as if he's not even here. Like _I_'m not even here.

And this apathy seems to be contagious. This apathy seems to be covering all my other emotions. The pain , the fear, the anger. All buried under tones of apathy.

"No." Another 'no' and all my will to know the truth vanishes. Is truth so important after all? Is truth so valuable?

Is it what we really need?

I doubt it.

Cause in many cases truth changes nothing. It helps in no way.

"All we wanted was to help you Rose. To give you a solid piece of advice that you wouldn't discard." Help. I sneer at this. Help? And now? Who's going to help me now?

Now that things have gone so much worst.

"It was my idea anyway. I was worried because you did all sorts of crazy stuff and I brought…" This is enough. I heard enough. What does he expect me to do now? Thank them? Ridiculous!

"Stop it Al. I do not wish to hear it." What would be the point anyway? _He_ doesn't care.

"But Rose…" I sense tears welling up.

"Your explanation changes nothing can't you see?" My cousin then falls silent. Good. I cannot handle him right now.

I can't even handle myself.

So for the last time I turn to the one who caused all this distress to me. The _only_ one.

"You deceived me. Maybe Al was meaning well but what _you_ did was plain deception. You played with me like I was nothing. Like this was a fucking performance." I spit. The bastard. That unbelievable pervert…

"And I, like the fool that I am, stood there unsuspecting, wondering how could someone care about me so much. While you laughed at me behind your mask." I smile an eerie smile before looking back at him.

"Now that I think of it, I bet the only reason you fought so hard to make me less heartless was so that this would hurt as much as it does." My last words appear to penetrate his cold mask. His eyes flash and stands up trembling. Oh, just go…

"And well done. Indeed it does hurt. But I guess you already knew that. You seem to have figured me out so well anyway." I snort and as he approaches I move backwards.

"Weasley…" He whispers pathetically.

"As for me, I know nothing about you anymore. Except for this. I have been disputing with you non-stop for the past six years, yet this is the first time I say this and mean it. Malfoy, I hate you." I stand and watch while my words stab him . Or so it appears.

His tall fit structure seems to break at once and he kneels in fake pain.

Cause it _has_ to be fake.

His eyes close in defeat and he clenches his fists tight.

And this is all I can stand.

Running away is really my thing. Why deny it?

Once again Air, Malfoy, was right.

oOo

Two days later. Gryffindor dorms.

"Rose, please open up!" Oh, bloody hell isn't this girl ever gonna give up?

"Leave me alone Nelia." I yell back . I need some space ok? Is that so hard to get?

"But I need to talk to you." Yeah, I figured that far by myself.

"About Al and…?" And _Him_.

"Yes." Well, then no!

"I heard all I needed to. Besides you needn't worry. I'm not mad at Al. He's just stupid." I hear her sigh from behind my dorm's door.

"I know. It's about Scorpius that I want to talk about." Damn it, but I don't _want_ to hear about him.

"Then I repeat my previous statement. Leave. Me. Alone. " Nothing they will say can make me change my mind. He played with me. Humiliated me. Made me speak of all my fears and mistakes and then persuaded me to follow the path he wanted.

I do not care if Al forced him to follow me to 'Flash'. Doing just that wouldn't have mattered a lot.

But this masquerade I was dragged into , this I can't forgive.

He acted like he was interested. He danced with me. He kissed me. And then managed to act all innocent.

"Rose you got it all wrong. This is not how things happened." Oh really?

"Then how did they happen?" I question kicking the sides of my bed in utter fury.

"Was there someone else pretending to care about me? Was there someone else dancing with me every night?" Was there someone other than Malfoy that kissed me so passionately it gave me chills?

"N-No…but…" Just as I thought. I take a brave step and open the door.

There I see my new friend sad and worried . About me. At least she is honest.

"You don't get it Nelia. He had the guts to pretend he could not dance in the Ball. He acted all cold and hesitant when just the previous night he was snogging me for dear life. He is a hypocrite." I don't think I can take this any longer.

Suddenly I kneel down in terror and crack up.

Tears are drowning me and I feel Nelia's hands around me. But when it's real pain you're dealing with no arms can really hold you.

"And you know what the worst part is?" I whisper between sobs.

"That had I been heartless none of this would have affected me at all." I try to catch my breath.

"I would have hexed him and leave to enjoy my life. But he took it away from me you see." I clench my fists.

"Listen to me now. I sound like a little kid. A true cry-baby. Tearing over my bad luck. Such nonsense and yet I cannot escape." Such a shame.

"The strong , the clever , the cynic Rose Weasley just evaporating. And you know why I can't turn back heartless Nelia?" She shakes her head perhaps a little scared at my out-burst.

"Because despite what he did, I find that, this guy, whoever he is, I really do love him." Just saying. You know just to prove that I have seriously reached bottom.

"Yes, dear cousin you are acting like a true cry-baby. Now contain yourself and come with me." I look at the door only to find my cousin Al standing there patting his foot on the wooden floor.

Now how he has managed to go up here I won't even ask.

"I told you already I-…" He raises a hand to stop me and I stupidly obey.

"Enough. I'm doing the talking now and if , after I finish you still have a problem I will let you be. But until then you just listen. I've had enough with this deal." What the hell has happened to that kind boy I once called my cousin?

I obediently stand up and follow him out of mo room, out of the Gryffindor Common Room, out of the castle.

We walk for a bit towards the Quidditch pitch , while I'm still trying to calm myself down.

"Ok, that's how things happened." I stop dead on my tracks and prepare myself for the truth. The truth I didn't want to know. The truth Al insists I should hear.

"One night by the end of last year I was unable to sleep. So I sneaked out of my room and decided to walk a bit in the castle. That was when I first saw you." I gulp. Somehow I feel shame towering over me.

"You were dressed so unlike you and I immediately realized you were going somewhere. I followed you and saw you getting wasted in a bar and then leaving with some unknown guy. I observed as you broke into a shop and took some stuff and then as you pranked some by-passers." My cheeks flash at that but I don't look away.

"The first thing that came to my mind was to go and drag you back to Hogwarts with me and owl uncle-Ron." Such a nice idea…

"But then I changed my mind. You see you had this cold , emotionless look on your face that really troubled me. I knew then it would take more than a simple scolding from the family to get you out of it." He saw it. My heartlessness.

"And that's when Scorpius gets to the game." Right. The game…

"He saw right through my fake-calm attitude and after whining my eyes out he got me to speak. And I did spoke. I told him everything." Albus stops to breathe .

"At first he quite stubbornly refused to believe me. So I took him to the bar and he saw you." Ok, I get it so far.

"To say he was shocked would probably be an understatement. Cause, you know Rosie, Malfoy might have always been annoying and arrogant to you but like a good rival that he is , he always admitted at least to himself that you are something rather remarkable." Yeah, that's why he decided to humiliate me.

"To come to the point in the beginning of this year I came up with a plan. Which of course I announced to Scorp." To hear the truth…it is rather relaxing. I believe that after all it was not such a big mistake to follow Al here. Maybe it doesn't change my mind but it opens my eyes.

"I wanted him to go to the bar where you hang out disguised and befriend you. Just so that he could advise you. See? It was _my_ idea!" Ha! He seriously thinks that this is what has annoyed me? The 'befriending' part?

"He refused at first saying it was way too dishonest but I insisted. Again my fault." He is such a fool.

"The first night he came back from the bar he announced he would never go back there again. Yet I did my best to persuade him to reconsider. And I had used all my tricks when half-defeated I told him that he should do this to help _you_." Oh great, the two saints plotting.

"And that's what did it. He returned. And things were going fine you were obviously talking and becoming friends. Till one night, out of nowhere, Scorp came back in our dorm panting and flashed. At first I thought he was ill but he made it clear this was not the case. He never clearly explained what occurred then but I gather something rather serious between you two." I sniff and cross my arms defensively.

"We kissed." I say bitterly.

"I see . That would explain it. However, from that day on I came to realize that something had changed between you and the _real_ Scoprius as well. Which was just so unexpected. I pointed it out to him and he agreed." Those must have been the times we had out civil talks.

"After that came the Ball. And I bet you know better than me what happened then." I scoff at this. Well, I know what happened firsthand.

"What you don't know is that he was furious about it. He kept saying he should never have done it and that it was certain he'd get rejected. Like he did. Plus he spent the entire next week trying to guess who was this guy you've been in love with. He was acting like a lunatic." It only serves him well.

"And finally two days ago he said he was going to meet you and he left early, rather disappointed. An hour later I was watching out of the window when I spotted a white light coming from somewhere in the woods. So I run down there cause this was supposed to be out signal for danger with Scorpius and I found him on the ground and you over him." He sighs audibly and I mimic his move.

"All in all Rosie this was clearly my idea." Al concludes confidently.

"Will you stop saying that?" I snap at him.

"Stop saying what?" He retorts taken aback.

"That it was all your idea! Can't you see this plan of yours, it hardly bothers me. It was well-meant anyway. What I won't forgive is his attitude." I point a finger towards the direction of the Slytherin dorms.

"What do you mean?" Oh, he is just so thick!

"Al you might think that he just talked to me but this was not the case. He deceived me. He used all that he knew about me to manipulate me. And he used his tricks to make me fall for him. Cause I just refuse to believe this flirting was done for my own good." I have without wanting to begun crying again. The words can hardly come out of my mouth now and I fear that I will sound like a little kid sobbing if I keep on speaking.

But I have to. Al, has to know the truth I know.

"And finally he had the guts to say to my face…to even suggest a relationship without revealing his identity. Then he immediately discarded it. All this just to unnerve me." So bullshit Al. I see no good in him anymore.

My cousin hugs me tight and I cry against him.

"I-I…I had no idea all these have happened. He never said a thing. He…he is always so closed up." Al pauses thoughtfully.

"I should go right away and ask him what is the meaning of all this." He nods to himself reassuringly.

"Yes, yes that's what I'll do! But first let me just say…" My cousin looks with a calm and kind face at me.

"…I mean it is only a guess yet…" Now he smiles in a brotherly way at me.

"…I always thought Scorpius had a thing for you. A soft spot. And lately all his moves seem to confirm this." I snigger. Sure. Deception and manipulation are always signs of likeness.

"No, no Rose don't deny it so fast. I think, though I cannot be certain before I go straight at him and ask, that you have really misunderstood him." Yeah, right!

" You interpreted his flirtatious behavior and his cost play as means of deception. But what if they are in fact his way of approaching you?" Is he bloody joking here?

"Think about it Rosie. Why are you _really_ mad at him huh? Is it because he lied or just because he made you open up and now you feel vulnerable?" I blush. No. I do not feel vulnerable. I might not be a heartless anymore but I am strong and disciplined. I might be crying now but I will contain myself. I will manage. Surely!

Or at least I hope so…

How stupid of him. To think I felt…Pff

"And if it is the second, then forgive him. Cause without even noticing it, I think, that he too opened up to you." What?

What am I to reply to this idea?

Is Al expecting me to consider this?

Should I grant his wish?

Is it even possible that the truth might be more confusing than the lies?

Argh!

A/N: Ok, super super super fast update

This chapter is dedicated to ElAmorComienza who was so impatient about it

Thanks everyone

Soooo… liked it? Hated it?

Tell me!!!

I am so so so so worried!

Kisses

Sarah


	11. Chapter 11

A/N: This is the chapter before the last one

So...time to dedicate

This chapter goes to: Jessy, of course!

Alina (hope you don't mind I mention the real name...)

And Elli (hehehe)

Also special thanks to :

Draora Moss, Broken Gold and That Romantic

Furthermore thanks very much for reading and reviewing

I hope you liked it

Enjoy!

**Chapter 11: Under My Nose**

A single week has passed since that horrid event in the woods. A week during which I have been roaming the corridors of Hogwarts much like a ghost. Sleepless, pale, hardly eating a thing.

Luckily I haven't seen Malfoy, or Air, or whatever. Nelia is by my side almost all the time which may I say is rather nice of her. At least I have a good friend.

Al is watching me from afar, frowned and worried at the same time. At first I wondered why he hasn't come to ask me what I'm doing. However now I know he learns everything from Nelia.

I guess he has sworn not to talk to me until I seek him. He is proud like that you see. What he simply cannot understand is that I am not mad at him.

Anger –or rather the lack of it- is another thing that's worrying me.

You know worst thing about anger?

It tends to fade as time passes.

That anger that over-floated me a week ago. That blinding rage that filled me up and made me wanna Avada Malfoy is slowly yet steadily leaving me.

Abandoning me to face on my own all those other feelings that are more stable and permanent. Feelings like pain and disappointment and…

What the hell? And love.

And as if the feeling were not enough I've got questions as well.

I can't really complain. Al explained everything to me some days ago and yet there are thing only _he_ can explain.

My cousin gave me his reasons for doing this. But Malfoy, the one who did some much more, so much worse, he didn't give me a single reason.

So now that the anger is almost gone I find myself in need of explanations. Why did he participate in this? Why did he take it that far? Why as his real self did he come near me? Why turning me down when he was the one who had previously kissed me?

And I , being the courageous Gryffindor that I am would have easily gone to his dorm and ask his straight-forward all those things that keep me awake at nights. However I can't do that.

Because the last time we spoke he proved how little he cares. When I yelled at him he just stood there like a statue. Confirming everything. He made no effort to explain. He showed no wish to apologize or defend himself.

So I he doesn't care what would be the point of confronting him?

Those are the thoughts that cross my mind when I enter the Slytherin Common Room determined to have a little talk with my dear cousin.

Yet when search the Common Room I come across someone else much less expected.

Rett McLaggen, with his tall posture is sitting nonchalantly on a green sofa near the fire.

Rett McLaggen my partner in crime waving at me.

"Hey Wes." He says in his playful tone that reminds me of the days I was still a Heartless.

"Oh! Hi, Rett." I greet hesitantly. He must be expecting me to act as usual. But you see I really can't. I am no longer the way I was.

"No need to be all scared like that Wes." He smiles sadly as he says so.

"I won't act all Heartless on you. I heard what happened." Heard…? What exactly did he hear? From whom?

"What do you mean?" I ask innocently as I sit next to him on the couch.

"'Bout you and Scorp." I gape at him.

"Al." He explains. Right. That would make sense.

"I didn't need to hear about that little incident with your masked guy to understand you have changed." Rett proceeds to comment as I raise an eyebrow.

"I guess I'm all alone now." I have never heard Rett bitter and sad before. He was always stupid and funny like that. Riel, his brother, was usually more sensible.

"I mean, Riel is long gone now. He has Lottie you see and is head over heels with her. And now you're off too. But I suppose I should have expected it." I smile faintly at him. Who would have thought Rett I-care-for-nobody-and-nothing would have a sensitive side?

"I should have seen right through your Heartless theory the first time you came and suggested to sneak out." I remember that day. It was back in fifth year. Right.

"I did mean it back then. Whereas you just wanted to have fun didn't you?" He chuckles a bit.

"Always. I am stupid like that you see." Rett looks away from me.

"I should have never let you come with us in 'Flash'." He says his voice full of regret.

"Riel didn't want to let you. He warned me that you'd get in trouble." As I said before Riel was always the sensible one.

"What he didn't warn me about though was that I'd get in trouble as well because I took you with me." A weak smile graces his features snow.

"You?" I ask perplexed.

"Yeah. Because every time you left with some unknown guy I cursed myself. And when you got wasted who do you think carried you back?" I had no idea…

"I'm sorry." I reply honestly.

"Oh, never mind that. I'm just glad you're over this now." However his eyes tell me otherwise.

"I am. Not that things improved a lot though." I remember my problem with Malfoy.

"That's got nothing to do with your heartlessness. It's all about your stupidity." I cock an eyebrow again at his words.

"Why ?" I question.

"Still you don't get it do you? Oh! Of course you don't. Al didn't get it either and he is his bloody best mate." Excuse me?

"Rose wake up. The bloody guy's in love with you." The bloody guy? What bloody-…? Oh!

Wow? What?

"Come again?" I will never understand his sense of humor Merlin I swear.

"I said Scorpius Malfoy is in love with you. He's been that way since forever." Yeah, ok. Good one!

I chuckle and Rett looks annoyed.

"Oi, Rose! Just because you and your oblivious cousin didn't see it, that doesn't mean it's not true." Ok, _that_ requires medical assistance.

"That's plain nuts Rett." I mean…

"No. _You _are plain nuts. Open your eyes Rose. He agreed to sneak out of school and risk his place here for you. And no don't look at me like I've grown a second head, I'm serious. I don't know what crazy excuse have you found to explain his moves but this is the only real thing. He loves you, you dimwit!" I move back on the couch as if punched in the stomach.

Actually I wasn't able to find a reason for his behavior.

Could it be then…Naaah…

"I-I…No way!" No bloody way!

"Yes way. He did kiss you now didn't he?" And then turned me down.

"And then turned me down when I said I fancied him." Rett looks thoughtful at that.

"Well, he probably felt bad and angry cause, let's just face it, you turned the real deal down for an unknown masked fellow." I sigh while my heart beats fast.

"I doubt it." Rett seems pissed off now.

"Oh, come on. He's been like a bloody Dementor for the past week. How can you doubt it?" I gulp at this. Seriously?

" Never mind that." I must solve this on my own.

"What are _you_ planning to do now that you're alone?" I really wish to know.

"I erm…I dunno. I'm sorta depressed you know. You missy, turned me into a heartless and now left me handle it on my own." He accuses in a playful manner.

"Ha! And you call _that_ _sentimental wreck of a human ,_ Heartless?" I counter playfully.

"Point." He admits.

"You know Rett." I begin hesitantly.

"I really wouldn't mind hanging out with that sentimental wreck after all." I confess kindly and his face just lights up.

"Jeez Rose, couldn't you just say this earlier? You just let me make a fool of myself and you say that you want us to be more than 'partners' _now_?" I laugh a bit and he follows suit.

"Real friends huh? I certainly would like that." He announces and I hug him tight.

"Oi! Rose you'll suffocate me." He whines but I ignore him.

Till I open my eyes that is.

Cause when I do a pair of grey pools greet me from across the room.

I slowly release Rett and he (Rett) smiles at me meaningfully.

"I've no idea where Al is Rose. Our little drama queen, Mafloy, however is right here." Rett says and I nod. I feel numb suddenly.

The blonde stares at me blankly and I see black circles under his eyes. His somehow charming smirk nowhere to be found.

"You wanted to talk to me?" He asks in a robot-like manner. No! No I didn't.

"Yep." Rett interferes.

"Ok, then come on." Malfoy motions his dorm with no color in his voice.

Damn Rett.

oOo

Malfoy's and Al's dorm. The Dungeons.

"So…" Malfoy starts and stop while putting his arms on his hips expectantly. So…I have no idea.

I wanted to speak with him it's true. Rett's words didn't persuade me but they made me curious. And yet now that I see his blank indifferent face I regret it all.

"I…" I stammer.

"Erm…" Malfoy tries, not with a lot of willingness really.

"It's just that…" Ok, this is no conversation.

"I wanted to ask you something." I finally manage to utter. He nods in apathy.

"Why?" He doesn't even blink. Like he's frozen.

"I won't apologize if that's what you want me to." He clears up and I feel a lump in my throat.

"I didn't ask that. I asked 'why?'" Damn it answer me!

"Because I thought it'd be fun." He says plainly.

"Liar." I counter forcefully and he appears to be considering his next reaction.

"Because I wanted to know what you were doing." He tries a new path.

"Bullshit." I don't believe a word.

"Because Al asked me to." Now he's using my cousin as an excuse.

"You're still lying. I want the truth for once." I move closer to him fuming.

"Fine then. I did it because you're bloody annoying and I wanted to teach you a lesson." I take a deep breath scanning his tall slim structure. So empty…

"I said I want the _truth_!" I point out acidly and he flashes for a moment, but then he's back to his expressionless attitude.

"You can't _handle_ the truth." He calmly points out.

"_You _don't even know me. How can you say that?" I raise a finger to his chest.

"You sure got that one right." He says and I sense it now. Something is torturing him. I can see it. In his eyes.

"Meaning?" No matter what his face shows. I can see this in his eyes.

"I thought that after five years of rivalry I knew you well enough. I mean I was visiting the Burrow often with Al and there were those quarrels between us. I thought I _knew_ you." He concludes .

"I used to believe you were a good person. A kind and sensible one. I even called you a bookworm and said you'd never get to have a real boyfriend." He thought so? About _me_?

"How stupid had I been! I prided myself upon knowing my rival. Idiot. That's what I was." He releases a breath of air he's been holding. Now I see his feelings dominating the place.

"But you gave me a lesson to remember. Back in sixth-year when Al told me you were sneaking out acting like a real tramp I laughed." And as if trying to enact he laughs a sordid laugh.

"After I first saw you almost having sex with a bloke in the street I never laughed again. Never as I used to at least." He looks away and it becomes harder and harder for me to understand him.

"And when I first came to 'Flash' and tried to come near you, you just threw yourself at me like some…" His blonde hair fall on his face loosely covering his eyes.

I think what I find so remarkable about them is not their color as some appear to believe but rather their shape. Short but not too short, messy yet neat. I dare say I never realized how nice his hair is till now.

Quite a pity really.

"I was scared. Scared that you might recognize me. Scared that you might not. And then you…you…" He seems unwilling to speak.

"Well, anyhow, we started talking and I begun seeing the old you again. So I was glad. And I loosened up around you more than I should have." I wasn't the only one then…

"Back in school you were your usual heartless self which just made me so mad. And yet every time I came to 'Flash' planning to tell you off for good you would act so nicely, so regretful that I always decided against it." I nod remembering the time I attacked Nelia.

"And out of nowhere I get confused and support you back in school where there are no masks. But I don't regret it. And we come closer for real. But then I act all stupid and ruin it by kissing you." I look at him like I've never seen him before.

_The person standing before me is not Malfoy_.

"However it's not your heartlessness that pulled you away that night. It was the mere fact that you were in love with that masked guy." I blush at this. _This guy is not Air either._

"So you go announcing it to me that night and I felt so mad at you! I wanted to hex you then and there. On the spot. How could you play such a game to me? Trick me that way. Turn me down for _me_. Such a deceit!" I? I tricked him? But no!

He did! It was him who lied and …and…

And then it was _me_.

Right.

I see now_. I_ _see how few thing I understand about him._

"And yet I'm so weak that the moment I saw that bastard's eyes at your back I forgot all about my anger and followed him to the forest. And got in a fight with him. You're bad for me. I always said so to myself." I guess I am.

He got injured because of me. He got sad and troubled and hurt because I was being immature and stupid.

"You are no good for me. You have so far deceived me in every possible way. Act all nice and kind and then turn to such a bitch. Treat me badly and just when I got used to it start being nice to me. And the worst part of it all? Now you're angry because _I_ deceived you." _I don't know this guy_. It's like I am seeing him for the first time.

He is arrogant and clever and proud and passionate like Malfoy. But then again he is vulnerable and caring and strict and calm like Air.

I feel strange to see the real Malfoy for the first time.

Standing s few feet away from me. His hands crossed, his hair disheveled , in his grey eyes breathing fires.

I _am_ bad for him.

"I should go. Sorry." I turn away tears in my eyes fighting to be released. And yet before I exit his room once and for all a strong hand catches me.

"You're so bad for me and yet I seek you out every time I enter a room. I sit there wondering what your favorite color is. I feel jealous when I see you kiss someone else. I care for you. I care." He repeats defeated and tired. I look up at him with tearful eyes. He shows no pity.

"You asked for the truth." He hisses. "So you'd better stay and hear it." What more is there?

"And more than anything else, I love you. That's the reason you were asking for." He still holds me with both his hands though I'm no longer trying to leave.

"That's why I did all this, the masquerade as you call it. I love you so much that it clouds my judgment." I stare at him pleadingly. His words flying in my head.

" I admired you before. I had faith in you later and I started believing again in you some weeks ago. All this against any logic. I always tried to see the best in you." He presses his hand on my shoulders as if trying to communicate all his feelings through them.

"And even now that I should have given up on you once and for all…even now I cannot but think how precious you are to me. I cannot but observe that without wanting to really caused you pain. I cannot but believe your words from the other night." He turns his face to the floor and I smell this thing that was all over my Amortentia. And always under my nose.

"And despite your mistakes you are still so kind and sweet and strong and beautiful. So beautiful. Merlin help me, I saw you in my Common Room and all I wished was that you came for me. All I asked for." Finally the tears come and he falls silent.

"You are right." I declare.

"I am bad for you. I'm sorry that you love me because it is obviously causing you to hurt." This perhaps the most remarkable role reversal in my life.

I came planning to tell him off. Instead he told _me_ off and moreover he was correct about it.

I suppose most of the time it is hard for us to find our own faults.

Suddenly he starts laughing again.

"You're sorry? Damn I'm not sorry and I am the one who's hurting here." Really?

"Do you mean that?" I timidly ask and he spares me a real smile.

"I do." Then, well then…

"Then I must say I love you too." I rise at the tips of my toes and kiss him softly in the lips. Such soft lips… But I pull away before he responds. He appears to be calmer now.

"Does that make you hurt any less?" I ask with only a little smile. I just thought that if he loves me then he deserves it. But still I am not worthy of him.

"Are you in fact trying to act nice on me?" He plays with my hair as he says so. I nod.

"So you have decided to be good for now?" He continues. I nod again.

"And then after some time passes you'll turn heartless back again?" He says worried.

"No. But I can't promise I won't do anything stupid from now on." I explain.

"So that's why you pulled back." Well… duh!

"I do you _no_ good." I am sure of it.

"Merlin! You Rose Weasley are the most insufferable girl in the whole world. And then again you are the cutest as well. And the cleverest one." He leans down and kisses me.

First he plays on my lips. Then as I open my mouth he deepens the kiss. His tongue racing in my mouth. I feel things erupting in my head. Chills down my spine. I catch his hair in my hands and messy them even more. He holds my waist like he's afraid he's gonna wake up and realize it is a dream and pins me on the wall.

"Wait, wait , wait." I speak against his lips.

"What?" He asks never pulling away.

"We can't be together." I protest remembering his former speech.

"Because of the things I told you?" I nod my heart sinking in my chest.

"I wasn't lying. It's true. But then again, Rose, I am no better." He steps back now thoughtful.

"Thinking of it I see that if I hadn't been an unbeleivable coward I could have spoken to you about how I felt a long time ago before you even became a heartless. I could have been nicer and less arrogant. I could have revealed who I was instead of acting like a nutcase." He hugs me tight.

":And I bet that you can find a million other reasons to accuse me of. And all of them will be equally correct. Maybe after all I am guiltier than you for this mess. There is of course no doubt that we're both at fault." Is he for real I wonder…

"But what you fail to see here is that we are all a little heartless Rose. Me and you and Al and Nelia and everyone. But on the other hand no one is totally bad." He smiles. I can't see him but I can feel it.

"If my father has taught me one thing that must be it. No one is only good or only bad." I smile too now. Smart man, Mister Malfoy.

"So you're willing to put up with me?" I cock an eyebrow.

"If you're willing to put up with me." He looks at my eyes finally free.

I don't answer to him anymore.

I just kiss him.

A/N: So? This is like the most important scene so please …

Please review

I am so anxious to hear about it

Lots of Love

Sarah


	12. Chapter 12

A/N: Sorry for taking me so long to update.

Truth is I just felt there was no need to rush cause the happy end was already there.

So anyway , here it is

I am not J. K. R. , try not to freak

Enjoy!

**Chapter 11: Bets about parents**

"Look at them, shameless gits, accusing _us _of acting all lovesick…" I would snort at Al's words but I am a tiny bit too busy at the moment.

Doing what? You might wonder… Well, I'm keeping this a secret. Use your imagination.

"I know! I mean they're all so high and mighty , snogging in the middle of Three Broomsticks but when we're hugging we're…how did they call us Al? 'Disgustingly romantic' Was it?" Hahaha, very funny Nelia.

"Remind me again why did we take them with us today?" Scorpius whispers in my ear, making me tickle.

"Go figure…" I reply sighing. Cause, hello, I won't be seeing him for two weeks, don't I have the right to enjoy, his…erm…company for a little while?

"So guys what are you planning to do during Christmas holidays? Are you going anywhere?" Nelia asks me and my awesome…wait for it…boyfriend, taking a sip from her butterbeer.

"To hell probably." Scorpius mutters and his arms stiffen around me. Yeah… tell me about it.

"So you're telling your parents?" Al inquires cocking an eyebrow. We both nod.

"Well, we've been together for some time and don't intent on breaking up any time soon so, what other solution is there?" I explain. Of course that is much easier said than done. Naturally. But I love Scorpius and he loves me too so they'll just have to live with it. Or kill us… but I try not to think of it.

"Besides we're seventeen, they can keep us under their control only that long." Scorpius adds.

"Well, hate to break it to you but it was not their fault you didn't get together earlier." My dear saint cousin Albus mumbles, between something that looks like…aha! Chocolate frogs. Dear that boy eats like a pig.

Thank Merlin my boyfriend is a gentleman…and hates chocolate frogs…mostly the second actually…

"Oh! Thanks for the reminder mate." Scorpius looks down at his hands that are no longer around me. I let go of my butterbeer and tangle my hands with his making him snap up his head with an expression that looks like he got pleasantly surprised.

I smile back at him with what I like to call my 'Scorpius smile' and then turn to my cousin and his girlfriend.

"Well, you're one to talk Allie." I point out and Scorpius smirks what he has named his 'Rose smirk'. Ok, I guess we are acting like lovesick teens. But hell this is much better than being heartless. So whatever.

"Merlin Rose I can't wait till you tell Uncle-Ron." Al chirps to my and Scorpius' annoyance.

"It's not gonna be better for you. Bringing home your Goyle girl." My boyfriend chirps back.

"Hey I'm right here!" Nelia protests but the two saints pay her little attention.

"Well, I brought _you _home and they accepted it. I'm guessing they'll adore Nelia." Hm, Al does have appoint there somewhere. And it's not pretty good.

"True then why should Mr Weasley mind?" Oh, poor Scorpius, he has never met my dad that's why he says that. If only he knew.

"Well, Uncle-Harry's good sense is somewhere up there." I motion over my head with my hand. " And my dad's is over here." I move my palm close to the floor and Scorpius' mouth forms and 'O'.

"Scary right?" I mutter heart-fallen.

"But we'll make it, my dear heartless girl." A bright smile graces his face and his grey eyes shine.

"I know Scorp, but it's gonna be hard." I counter still unable t relax.

I know me and him, we'll be together no matter what but I'd hate to have my parents shout at me and his at him. It would ruin my good mood.

"And hasn't it been hard till now? The only difference is that now there's two of us and that's not exactly a bad thing." He reasons and I nod. Gosh, how did I live without him for so long?

"Actually there's four of us." Al interferes and I send an appreciating look at him.

"What?! I didn't do all this talking and planning to have you both killed by Mr Malfoy and Uncle-Ron, respectably." Albus laughs at that.

"Thanks mate." Scorpius high-fives his best friend, like a ten year old.

"You know what? I wonder what kind of punishment my dad will give me." I wonder out loud ten minutes later.

"Surely one not even close as harsh as mine will give me." Scorpius assures me. Not that this is very reassuring but…

"Well, you haven't met my dad. He's nuts." I say knowingly and Al nods.

"Mine is a tyrant, so I win." Hahaha, nice one baby.

"You don't know what you're talking about." I mean , no idea…

"Trust me Rosie, I do…" Scorpius insists.

"Wanna bet on it?" I hiss dramatically

"Sure thing." He hisses back.

**oOo**

.Weasley residence. December 23rd.

"I mean , of all the boys in Hogwarts, you chose Malfoy's son?" Yeah, yeah I heard you dad…

"You're overreacting Ron, calm down." Good thing my mother took it well. I stand up and rush to my bedroom. The man's crazy. I mean 'the boy is a scum like his father' ? Seriously? Couldn't he find a better reason to shout at me?

"Rose Weasley, come back here we are not done yet." My dad says ignoring my mother's calming voice.

"No. If that's how you're gonna be, I'm going to my bedroom." I shout back. He did it again. Made me furious.

"Fine, then stay in there." Good idea.

"Ron!" My mum shouts now.

I run to my room , shutting the door behind me. There grey owl with a package at its left foot awaits me. Scorpius' owl.

"Quentin!" I greet the animal with a smile. Letter from Scorpius. Cool!

I open the letter next to the package first.

'Rosie,

I got two and a half. Awesome huh? (Notice the irony?). How did you do?

Kisses, Scorp.

P.S. : I think my dad is trying to block my window so I'm owling you your Christmas present today. Both of them actually.'

Both? What has that rich bastard bought this time?

Opening the package I make out a little box and a mirror.

Hey, that's not a regular mirror! It's a communication mirror! And I bet I know who has the other one.

I take the mirror in my hands and nudge it slightly. Suddenly the glass turns cloudy and a face appears in it.

"Hey!" I smile at the blonde inside the mirror.

"I see you got your package. Quentin never fails me." Scoprius comments smiling back.

"I did, but why two gifts?" I ask.

Well, I know normally people send one gift per Christmas, but I thought that this one was mostly a gift to myself so I got you a second one only for you…" Crazy rich bastard.

I turn my attention to the smaller of the two gifts and open it. Ok, wow!

In the box there's a little heart locket and in it there and I repeat, wow!- a photo I got with Scorpius in our last trip to Hogsmeade. There's him tickling me while I'm fighting to release myself and then he just kissed me.

"Merry Christmas, Rosie. Turns out you never were a heartless after all. You always had my heart you know." I turn to look at him with tearful eyes.

"I love you. Thanks." I mumble between tears.

"Now , now don't cry baby. I love you too." Right I have to contain myself.

"It's amazing Scorpius. And it has the shape of a heart too… How thoughtful of you." I joke removing the tears with the back of my palm.

"So as I said, how did it go? I got two and a half weeks." I sigh.

"I suppose you won. I got grounded for only two weeks." I mutter sticking out my tongue to his smirk.

"Hahaha. Didn't is say my dad was more strict than yours?" He keeps pushing his case.

"I'll hex you if you keep this up." I put my hands on my hips.

"I won! I won , I won, and you looooost…" He sing songs. Idiot.

"Whatever. Good thing is that we get to talk that way. Oh bugger! I almost forgot. Wait, I'll send you your present too. Though it is not close as expensive and nice as yours." I stand up from my bad leaving the mirror there and go to my desk. I tie my package to Quentin's leg and let the owl return to its owner.

Before I sit back down I put on the silver heart-shaped locket with its green and blue shining he has one hell a taste that guy.

"Wow it looks good on you." My boyfriend gasps.

"Thanks. So how was it?" I ask.

"Dad shouted like hell and mum was trying to calm him down. He said some shit even he didn't believe, but I guess it could have been worse." Scorpius mutters.

"Same here." I second. Oh, look he got my gift.

Scoprius opens his window and takes Quentin in. He unwraps my present and I see his eyes open wide. Then he starts chuckling.

"'Cinderella and Other Tales'?" He reads. Hah…you got me.

"I told you it was nothing special." I look away shameful. Why didn't I buy him something expensive like that?

"I was looking for this book in 'Flourish and Blots' but I couldn't find it cause it's muggle. Yes! Rosie, I love you even more now!" I had kinda missed that little kid he has inside.

"Ok, it's decided, tonight I'm gonna read you Cinderella." He exclaims almost clapping his hands.

"For Merlin's sake Scorp…" Agh… we're not six…

"Enough. I'm reading now!" He interrupts me. Ok…don't snap mister.

"Once upon a time there was a gentleman –wow it's so cool- who married for his second wife the proudest and most haughty woman that was ever seen…" I smile absent-mindedly and look away for a moment.

And then I see it.

There is my door stands my mother and father staring at me and then back at the mirror and then back at me. My mum has a content look on her face and my dad , no matter how surprised, smiles slightly.

Then they both wave at me and quietly leave the room closing the door behind them.

No. Nobody is as bad as we think. Scoprius knew that. And he taught me too. And apparently now, my dad knows as well.

Maybe he'll tell someone too and then…

"Are you listening Rose? I said she used to sit down among cinders and ashes…" I chuckle now with all my heart, rolling on my bed.

Merlin I love him.

**The End**

A/N: *Sobs, sobs* I will so miss this story

And you!

Please review.

Lots of Love

Take care

Sarah


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